"Her lips narcotic, my addict eyes ad lib glances..."

The Ann Harding Society

https://wqff588.inkrealm.workers.dev/

By inky

2023

inky specscript - nine - photoplay Edition

auto-save on pause

unedited winter dream notes
& musings brought to you
	by MINAro 
	 by inky, inkrealm -www.inkrealm.info
	 (a series of mind breaths, wroted late december through late january ©️ 2024)
dream note 20 october;a drawer full of money, didn't count it...rush into a stranger;s house; hurrying out into unknown sidewalk... 
	21, dreams blurred, updated artbreeder, redesigned wordstar.cyclic.app ...26, dream of dancing dwarves, i thought they were singing -
	the day brought disturbing news; a new nose limit, looks like your nose is running...redecorated inkrealm.info intro - lawrence welk 1978 
	face lift skit - six masterchef tumblers brought to mind you only live twice - tiger and ai the manuscript at 14,351 words - 
	i don't believe britney wroted that book, dear ramona, i have opted to replace you as my astrologer, as a girl in new zealand has won the contract 
	- oh lorde -27th iran rough draft done yay -thought about lara but dreamt of clara extra sleep felt so good - 
	dream maria sent me a purse with haul within, tan designer frames - friends, briana brancato edited out of reports but why - 
	explosion in a cafeteriaesque place i collect my backpack items on the other side and awake -
	in the middle of slutty halloween costumes and heather in the hp lovecraft remake my erection smiled...
	www.inkrealm.info/about, planned and deployed, i think i slept well, but in my dream a brown cat was visiting skirt 
	and tried to steal five compact discs, terribly upsetting fight followed but at least it weren't a human cat fight...
	the irony of all these parties while the dance of wars waltzes, in a dream under glass like iggy pop song lyric 
	peter o'toole saunters by straightfaced alone passenger, portrait of mrs kessler @ itsnotalive, yes this is nonlinear
	but that was the only time i really voted...day of the dead, scary monsters and super creeps in dreams i guess it awoke my thoughts before i got up, 
	screenplay in mind.

3 november, speaking with an aunt i never speak to, how do you sleep, deletion demo, i don't want to lose you, 
	you say yes and i say no, butcher's crossing, notice the reports advanced Ai long before our hands had, back in the dream i don't want to agree 
	to a divorce because the wife's family name serves me well for society and banking and such, i get up afraid of my fictional greed, 
	dear icloud; why take up laptop space at all? n4, nearly good transition scenes at iran photoplay, still never can get used to going 
	against myself, the movie can only hint at the story, glimpses, unlike an actual story - wish i could have told f scott fitzgerald it 
	is almost exactly not writing - i get up too early for my own good, thinking of chloe and how wonderful it is to have people like that in the world
	...saturday spilled water broken haus cup, didn;t write instead "home" paged inkrealm.info, dream call but i haven't met elly, 
	martin rest ibanez at work...alarmed mother made me dress for dream guest, i ask about another aunt, he says horrible,
	i notice he is short and fat, maybe it was quarantine, or rem imposter, didnt feel like anything after that, did write a scene - 
	forced inspiration only leads to editing - later dreams a fashion show girls sitting and walking runway in fredrick's of hollywood blue 
	alike emilee's blouse - i suppose i miss her i suppose i always will - one of them like astbury when i had yet to figure out the similarity
	to aleksandra - movie with allard memories with leonor - i walk out with a rolling stone knight not even surprised we cant get no satisfaction
	- or is it keira siddenly apron never filt so attractive - the broken jacuzzi lined with crawling ants, i had nearly wept over jean harlow in 
	saratoga - everything is too expensive and i am reading ballard's cocaine nights, halfway through.n8, copyright the dementia fashion line 
	with a sub brand called senility, tagline outfit repetition is the new black, dream technicolor screen within a dior advent box a woman is showing
	me two variations, crowded room not the series some man sits atop a stack of my writing i feel upset then fury as he fondles the pages -
	i pull him out and away kicking out the boy that seemed to be with him - i load up on chicken rice and onions watching foe but
	i don't like it paul still feels like a tv actor not a character actor wasnt normal pee pole a few days ago and now ready for lifetime achievement
	awards - the gladiator governent should have been played by elton john, they could ve used his songs, crocodile rocket and such,
	say or see tits out in a badly edited film, i only held on till the bitter end for her sake, no regrets pay the ticket take the ride,
	in ladybird we trust. 
		
			
			n10, inertia no dream yet it might be that oppenheimer was overwhelming or the ralph lauren wood hanger resolution was kicking 
	in - kept hoping that it was daniel playing the lead but murphy's law i guess - mrs parker no relation to spiderman doubles 5,
	me dishes to dish out steak with killer wherin i saw more of the country than i have since obligatory vaccine, dude my dog story on the screen, 
	what exactly does burroughs have to be proud of...heavy metal, maybe i met someone in secret before i said it, a secret kept even from myself?
	xmas credit seven cents back to staking, plus tvc 15 in the plan to update, boxes in a before dream coming thru the disconnected tele, a lovely
	thing that vanished as i reached for the second after knocking on the guest room door to find a naked woman's torso tits out as the beloved lesbian
	said, bronzed but bushy asian type bush, distrust followed since the disdain of masked days...talk of fumigation i am concerned for the kitten,
	skirt, exterminator instead of cleaning feels ironic - iran script over the time frame i want it to be seventy odd minutes - took all the vitamins,
	played all the scales. n11 hearing from the self proclaimed cyborg girl was the day's highlight, daria bought enough zara to open her own store, 
	i pondered and procrastinated secure in no hurry after dreaming i was with two very tall men, sort of like actors i admire, the face off leads to
	be precise, cozy with the cat contrary to the dark girl soundtrack, refried steak meal, finishing cocaine nights, itchy at five afternoon no relation
	to koo park, eleven in the moring new zealand already the next day.dear iceland i will release roadhouse blues for you then
			
	
		.n13,
	cocaine nights which i thought goodly turned into anticlimax wrap stitching the foreshadowed scenes together - by contrast rumble in the dark felt
	awful but had me in tears at the end -oh momma dream of the city sauntering as if under surveillance then a candle lit room looking at a dylan song
	awoke at two thinking it was six - stuck inside of mobile with the dirty laundry again -kick 'em when up or down, verbs call dictionary
	to add chatgpt'd - marlene told me to cover king horse, bleedthrough tracking, exported wav as mp3 didnt waveform, skip sound reaper,
	nearly good, usb went blind, later feeling axe too loud went back to find no windows, reset and reinstall everything, 
	talent is not enough for these situations, patience - remixed second version, perhaps vocals too low - now i see why the bible tells us not to speak
	to spirits - in dreams a girl has writing scribbled on her back she turns topless raising her arms brick red armpits - i'm reading super cannes - 
	i awake up minutes after dozing off - cigarettes coffee murder an obvioulsy dazed cockroach that has wandered through the hall perhaps chased
	by skirt with labs suspicion over the laptop weirdness -i'm hungry but i think it away only find dream hog-like men as i get lost in a spanish 
	town reverie- they are barefeet hoofesque - i can hear one of them say hey remember him - the streets are empty -get up early from the nightmare
	hear the tracks again hoping that it is near enough to what i thought i heard in the headphones - in rushing right into whatever i recorded on 
	first take while still learning the song gives me a sense of being high but often enough it is obvious why some artists spend weeks or months
	in the adventure - my thoughts are scattered as if still tangled in dreams or dietrich...n15 final touches on the iran photoplay, in a dream
	i am in a bar within a park excited to pick up drinks for some girlfriend, among the libations a towering mug of ale as some rude bloke nears
	saying i thought you didn't drink and i saunter away getting lost in the process climbing to nowhwere road littered with stray pieces of two by
	fours - get up thinking of emilee yet confused and distracted - the day wants a shampoo, the day wants to paint the front room, the day wants 
	to do the dishes before cooking, the day wants to take out the trash - i go back to sleep until noon and avoid most of it except somehow a few
	things get done anyway, still concerned over asking a question in my thoughts and hearing some sort of upset voice respond...like a haunting,
	the inner seance of a split second like never before and can't say if it will speak again, i did try but then only heard myself -
	no ceremony or invokation, simply a weird magic or perhaps confirming alien mind contact...too many transmissions in the air...or as i wroted, 
	this much talk is too much tape. n17/18, elevator 8th graders except we are grown in dream, greatg fun with knight without armor, morg rocklin,
	and cloe borden, weird to note it only a few days before her end date- the answer comes before the question - 
	dream zelda at hungarian pastry shop - and then tropical storm i see where the devil roams - too happy at last - otherwise put out book of shadows -
	kremlin says the times might be fbi - felt as strange as henry lee's press on nails -lost relay glasses slavery revolt -
	kristie thompson = astrologer, inkow its annoying this scrooge scroll and i will make it a box asap - paris hilton date yet i have a leech like scab
	right next to nose i pull it off notice pink red circle marks and convince my reflection i look fine then rush to meet her
	-nearing the end of super cannes i can't help feeling ballard was vying for a bit of flemings's bond - strangely. a saturday so wet, 
	sunday might be drowned out until monday - dream lara's gibson but more like a les paul jr - two strings i take the stage loving the sound
	from the sinlge string a warm old tube sound with just a hint of buzz, guitar like italian restaurant cloth matching my plaid shirt i notice 
	awaking without thinking of the yiddish beshirt, steak potatoes i wish i knew more languages or the people to practice them with to be more precise
	- can one exeunt from dream note...many thanks for the vote of confidence, mw. 
			
			
	n19, gothic table marilyn manson scene dissolved into conversation with mila kunis the narrative a wild story about an erotic bank 
	where withdrawls are based on a performed sexual act - i got up thinking it would make an enticing novella - 	
	n20, blow job bank of jerk and rubbers incorporated...did any hairdresser ever want to get into the profession because of the incident
	in dallas, talk about messing up a hair style...finishing super cannes i find myself thinking i was wrong only partly
	right as he put placed ot that chorus line of james bonds description and dissolved into with his former title greet the end, but none
	of us after shakespeare can ever near the stunning precision of that particular play - perhaps he had some other goal i couldnt see- 
	certainly a few dazzling sentences...i got through the pasta day and cheesed my way through the film, in part upset that VS corrupted
	some of it as i sat there recalling that trite fashion campaign and how ello vanished taking with it my homage to hellbender
	instead of the magical movie - yet on second slide screening all of that is secondary and i simply think i need to view it a third 
	time to catch all the songs - in the dream i am catching plumbs that are scattered around my shopping bag - i am taking them in
	reaction to having been asked to leave - but i was not buying fruit...slice of bread and sugared orange monday...sigh.
	struggle dream recalled rollup metal gate except spirits and or demons seemed to be fly floating as i entered
	they were within as well - an uneasy feeling...yet i cannot catagorize it as nightmare - right fare reading my jimmy's portrait -
	it's a genius that doesn't make you jealous for heartfelt awe one finds in the poetry as if effortless...weird to then walk
	into the wax of the teacher's lounge...deutsch cinema - magical actress - meanwhile in dreams a writer walks into a bar but
	it is not a skit, standing there a woman put places two envelopes in his left pocket - then a little girl reaches out and
	slides his zipper up and down - as the motion repeats, he tears the envelope without removing it from his pocket - takes out
	the money and inserts it in his shirt pocket - he takes steps away from the girl as she finally paused the up and down
	greeting - he imagines a land where people don't shake hands but pull at their zippers for a few seconds that must always feel
	like too many minutes or more - a criminal feeling possesses him as if he had stolen the cash, he worries and climbs onto rooftop 
	where a man sprays a neon tinted water from a hose, the liquid nearing as if an ocean's wave in flourescent teal - he awakes wishing 
	he was still writing his book, there is a strange feeling a sensation that it was a stranger in his own dream - he goes back to 
	sleep but then no dreams arrive only a pair of hands - not his but someone is mocking them and it turns his stomach with some
	sort of illogical fear - he awakes frightened - cigarette thinking of bill wyman -rome flashback, i will cut off your pink 
	hands and nail them to the senate door - coffee settled down - now typing the consideration of cyborg girl, no hands - 
	for a while, a very long while it is why i refused certain types of comedy - no wish to explore endless irony - how i miss the
	city on thanksgiving, i try not to think it but in having a sort of usual meal well...at least i had this very clear vision
	of emilee as to nearly blur the line of reality and fantasy - in another dream the line between life and death also blurred
	as i was with an ex girlfriend, like the silent breakup or years had vanished, walking through living room her family is there,
	her dead father sitting at the top of the room saying come here it's almost like we grew up together and he pulls me in an
	embrace - i had worn his shoes and dreamt of his other daughter holding me when he passed away...i sigh satisfied that this
	ghost is being kind to me - smiling even, then the ex is nervous - a lost notebook, i know the one she means as if we were
	back in school of course i didn't go to school with her - she pleads and i go on a wild escapade to find her mead but instead
	find a stack of notebooks littering the hallway - none of them the one we are looking for - i get up certain that there is
	another timeline and in that dimension we are together as no other logic could or would explain that feeling as i glanced into here 
	knowing for sure they were all there in this space - strong till the finish not because i eat my spin-ache - popeyes now in
	town i hope church's comes next - the feeling subsides - what is real is that i miss emilee and suddenly memory kicks
	in the drawn heart on her hand nearly where that ex had a heart-shaped scar - perhaps it was about her in some way i cannot
	understand - or worse about myself and how love was never what it used be except in thought. i look at one of the videos
	i saved in my files and feel myself tremble in ethereal emotion. n24, riots in dublin - surely over alexandra and reece
	nipples - i get up knowing i dreamt some shabby room where kids were white mouthed not from foaming but eating - i know 
	think of one of my own lines from some forgot poem, the milk broken inside her mouth...i son't recall the verse or
	the dream as i stumble around waking up wondering if she is on her way to work - the day struggles against a trip to the 
	shop - aren't you missing anyhtning else, i respond well if everyone got everything they were missing we'd all be in trouble-
	i have a slice a bread olives and cheese then heat up the leftovers - taking a look at peaky blinders but i don't like it -
	it's a lot more fun to look at ganna with her horses in cairo - the day slips away as i try to defend emilee from 
	imagined dangers lurking in scrambled words - not knowing if i succeeded - i try to purchase a westinghouse fan but it is
	yet to arrive - i do purchase the hornet deelay and find myself thanking lara as i felt her good wishes when i missed the
	septmeber sale, eighty cents now still feels nearly free - eight oclock and im pretty sure nothing else is getting done
	tonight leaving me five days or so to complete and edit that fifty thousand word novel thing not to mention doing the
	dishes - letters from unkown women one of them promising to love me forever - just when i thought romance was a thing
	of the past...i tell the other one it is next to impossible that we will ever even meet. 
			
		
			
			
			n26, i'm sure i'm at some
	beach or faraway sand planet - i catch a glimpse of a man that looks like bowie - the woman with me is invisible,
	the woman walking first towards him and then us steps upon him and i watch as he is buried in the sand one eye
	open as if searching for a way back after being so gently but surely trampled - i can't tell who the woman is -
	i get up hoping it is that emilee has read my letter right and opted to come and stay - in the dream the word stirn
	is being repeated or perhaps stern - myriam is a doctor - i operate on promotional materials for minaro - 
	the results will be temporarily available at www.inkrealm.info - gloomy forehead at the thought of washing dishes - 
	fear of wiretaps - cool picture from iran i translated - dream dante cape cod song i hadn't heard in a while felt
	like a friend - my other thought was wondering why i cannot bring myself to self-promote in the way i so eagerly
	and enthusiastically do for lara...the thrill-feelings i had while minaro weaving are simply not there when it
	comes to my own promotional materials - i do them mostly as a requirement like homework - even creating websites -
	i only find that sooner or later i want to create another possibly because i am not emotionally connected at 
	the process of creation as i am with say my new dream note sponsor. weird, no? 
	 
			n27-28wild slip slide fast forward dream in the fact i have to get up to receive a delivery i never read the news,
	they say arriving later than expected - abilene town is the weirdest western i ever seen - in the dream
	i'm sure speaking to emilee yet in that whirl forward fast slide slip away awaking to recall only a white
	tee - then i'm here but also in paris - where the coffee bag broke and lumani carried the cups in her hand
	discarding the water bottle - i discard a film called the lesson not liking the vague nature of the lead -
	hedy lamarr joins my excellent meal - i am certain of wanting to get even more sleep and do - encountering
	an old lady sitting on my sofa, we speak, i note her nose is pointier than her sister - i have not really
	met gloria's sister except in passing - for a second i think it is keira in the future yet in the scene
	emilee is not near - there is a practice amp, like my fender when i had a les paul, stepping into the room virginia 
 on the bed thighs mid air feet on the dresser i touch them
	estimating a size six, five she says in a flirty way so when i get to my own bed i find myself confessing
	the attraction when the woman laying ontop of me asks for a secret - i nibble kiss her collar bone and
	see her orgasm - she reminds me of caitlin and naturally i think of milo - the cat not the funk superstar -
	hmm- suddenly it was back to that frenzy intensity as if something had to be hidden - i'm in a bar asking
	for a second guinness worried that they are going to charge me for both although i have already paid the first -
	there is a girl with me and she tells me to be careful as i pull out a stack of currency notes one of them
	falling to the ground as if to make her point - obviously from the blow job bank of jerks and rubbers incorporated,
	where sperm turns to cash - coin baby in slot vagina insanity - i dunno - as a nondrinker, i'm certain the dream
	was without me - me i was busy in abu dhabi wondering how much trouble estelle might be in - out of 
	fathers into fears - hope feathers what was it burroughs told, ah yes, like Spain I am bound to the past -
	present after midnight the kitten skirt making a speech - cat talk for clean up my litter box now - wait
	forgot to frog that erotica erin oh kneel she had torn bicep flesh as if bitten away on the other side
	of keira's sun smile and moon ink -i have a coke everyday... i get up with no link to any of it concerned over the cell phone
	reflected in her eyewear - leap of faith one more listen to cape cod girls aint got no combs, they comb their hair with a
	cod fish bone - weave into velvet moon and wroted this mind drift sponsored by minaro new york a fashion
	brand exploring the concept of surveillance now in their second collection, available everywhere.
			
	 n29, midnight closed browser instead of tab so this part is reprinted from moments ago recollections -
	 i kept telling myself i only needed a few days to complete nanowrimo but i only needed a few hours -
	 word count 121,088 - entirely unedited stories a bit off the mark from my sci fi beatnik intention
	 but basically done - in doing it, employed ai and found i had actually created a new plot
	 in other words an outline as zephyr kept asking for suggestions but i didn't keep those notes -
	 should note euphorium nine, drug invented during that process - ai seems unware and very curious
	 about drug use - rug social media hug ganna stuck her tongue out sideways - the stories need editing
	 stopping when they're all a smash yet it is a sort of accomplishment -in dreams i could not
	 seem to escape my surrounding as unpleasant men tried to convince themselves over some sort of
	 trail and jury show with what looked like cops wearing headphones and fake beards got displayed
	 but none of it interesting, it made me think of one of my uncles but i couldnt distinguish - then
	 in a shop where a woman was trying to hold me in conversation but i had no such interest in her
	 or the talk and even awoke to get away - alabama getaway - early evening escape into in the land of
	 saints and sinners - enchanting - i had actually seen the leads back in the city while silently
	 wandering around - didn't know they were friends - me i made friends with the chords to it was a 
	 very good year - i like how it contrasts with the endless irony or is that chaos - like you can 
	 hear the ups and downs of life in the progression - kissinger germanic titan gone - thanks for
	 telling me about spengler, H. one doesn't think of him as a movie star but look over the credits -
 the kid stays in the picture with bob evans - i saw the best minds of my generation stark raving
	 mad in angry streets looking for a fix- america returns to the moon - we all live in america -
	 end of recollection - i had switched to look over oppenheimer notes - wanting to see if i had noted
	 that although the reich is said to have implemennted the final solution, it was really the other
	 side that created a weapon capable of wiping out everybody - look at my soul eraser pencil -
	 deadalous had sex but the sermon that followed was the exciting part - stay safe, everybody
	 - irony and chaos are always on the loose - now all this might mean 
	 something to you as well but for poetic fashion don't miss the excellent minaro styles!
	 n30. i sit reflecting upon the first two episodes of slow horses, partly thankful that
	 i didn't myself hear any type of sermon like the one in portrait of an artist since it
	 would have screwed in even deeper the catholic guilt which i can't wholly escape, it seemed
	 suddenly that my dream with the crying girl and the man with the bicycle coming down a
	 stair case was informed by the show - the answer comes before the question - in my mind
	 i thought it was emilee, but i have to allow for wishful thinking - my astrologer appears
	 to have nearly nailed it - i don't say more due to superstitions - sure some will say
	 it is all delusional conceit perhaps a figment of fantasy yet like love's emotion the
	 feeling cannot be put somewhere or framed, ethereal - for that matter faith as well -
	 at least i didn't saunter around with my arms not swinging firmly pressed to my sides
	 to avoid temptations...dracula renounced his faith and drank blood for the sake of 
	 love - mina, yeah i know people will think i've gone overboard with minaro, i have
	 crossed oceans of time to find you - my apologies if you have not yet memorized the
	 same films as me - sleeping past noon only to order a bag of white sugar, modelo -
	 not wanting to uppermarket - call dollars or pesos - later counting it twice -
	 cooking rice steak - taken by thoughts, in case of endgame food fight, one could 
	 always argue that even a shit meal can be improved because of the great grand
	 variety of poo since nearly everything shits, even wood - given termites...
	 defecation chef studies the bird droppings...i suppose it is worse for the french
	 as the sea words wrench with similar mother tones, maybe in the cote d'azur they only eat
	 what the fish dump...dammit james you've turned me into high school humor hack -
	 i drink my pepsi and vitamins - i update here and there, giving voice again
	 to minaro new york fashion brand - i'm only certain that i need to put place
	 these works in a more cohesive setting - i'm seventeen, i've been seventeen for
	 a while...i can't see myself renouncing love and drinking low calorie light diet
	 blood in the form of red wine for the sake of faith...amazing how plants grow
	 when water is made available to them. dec 2 - yes i see now, somehow i foretold
	 the cow dung cake scene in 'reland	- jeez that is a goodly book - which means
	 i have now read nearly everything joyce although i only spied at exiles in glances -
	 carved cow in oklahoma, fuck fh...visually stunning - i got up about one with
	 some of the same feelings that is, mrs robinson, you are trying to seduce me?
	 familial hypercholesterolemia - i don't say anything and get out of bed -
 i muse over the dream - feed it into my dream memory machine which points 
	 out that is was similar to my only other dream with emilee - i'm in a hotel
	 room, but a run down place no palace - crowded on either side - she was trying
	 to leave and i was imploring her to stay as the crowd implied its nearness -
	 i can still see the glimmering locks of the door and feel myself grin as she stepped
	 back in - by contrast this dream was outside going in with her - really using
	 me as if basically her pet - except for an easy, gentle kiss, that felt shocking
 in its simplicity - before sitting in a chair stretched out as if before a nurse -
	 on my left side a microphone in a suspension mount - i think only neumann makes
 them so an 87, but later it made me so wish to have an akg 414 - off track pause
 - perhaps finding the minister;s speech with the reactions was too much for
	 me but oh how i love when history is available - i can see her starting to make
 love to me but nearly right away goes over to a sofa and sits by a pudgy man
 stubble faced seeming drunk to which i protest and fight, him then some other
	man - and suddenly it is me trying to leave and her imploring me to stay - 
	we argue over her intention and feeling - i feel shame, as if used like in a 
	wager over my emotions - she is about to kiss me again - an expiation, i think
	i can't leave it's a hotel california love scenario then i awake
	- it is dawn - i had been viewing may december - i smoke two cigarettes -
	sip coffee - i remember earlier in the dream trying to memorize her address
	from the arrived mail when we were outside but i already knew her address -
	sophie t mass tee - fragile, handle with care - i have no proper recording
	device for vocals but i can't sing here anyway - not without risking being
	heard, or my excuse for one take leads - the elf made me do it
			-i go back to sleep thinking of eg
	stunned that i find the thought so enchanting - sherry speaks of breaking 
	a soul contract - it seems to send me into a cleaning frenzy - i have a
	turkey sandwich with olives - i look at the supreme justice obituary but
	can only envision emilee in the far away years of her golden age - the 
 ruth bader ginsburg scenes from a time before only a distant recognition
	in my aleksandra akhremenko mind since it feels sometimes that i have been
	with miss grant forever - perhaps life is telling me to finish that book,
	but i know my vampire self and need or want to be here and now - i speak low in 
	imagination's convoluted echo, my right eye, well, yes later on i might
	be willing to give it up for the obsidian elsivier time travel project
	yet now no especially no when even my dreams put place me in positions of doubt -
 house home pretty clean but i feel no sense of accomplishment in that
	it proves only wasted minutes that will turn into wasted hours - the
	newly left crumbs on the just washed dish foretells the repetition
	is even now prepared for seconds. dec 3 - i couldnt stop thinking about
 ms portman, the perfomance was impossible - i always knew and even said
	she could go the distance but this was beyond the finish line - even 
	the asthma nebulizer in retrospect seems like a build up as if to
 let the audience know they are going to be left breathless if they
	have their wits about them - fucking bravo - in my dreams skirt is
	in my room, next to the fan his eyes big and curved just like the
	the gone relay glasses which had peripheral lens extending to the
	sides...what the fuck is star wars about emilee thought it was about
	aliens and making friends with aliens...i notice her sisters in 
	my thought yet some more girls too - i don't recall any other dream
	and sleep until late afternoon - it is still natalie in mind when
	i slide out of bed - the evening is eminent - all the girls are
	the grey eminence, i return the esty link, éminence grise - it even 
	sounds as if her name - link to domain knowing i can't escape that 
	adoration even if it is not logical - well, now you know who wears the pants 
	not to mention the panties - it's parallel to wanting to contact my sponsor, 
	minaro, yet unwilling to interrupt their design process - for a second i feel so alone
	although i am right here with myself. 
		
			dec.4/5 - i wish i were writing,
	or doing something, but it is one of those days - not bad, simply
	not good or great - pulling an unexpected all nighter feeling myself
	in several places at once - roaches echo - true story fixing java
	one of them has climbed up on the cup - i dispose OF it by drowning -
	in making more coffee to avoid having to wash the cup that is to
	rinse it with the boiling libation as well as to get my drink -
	a second thing rises as if from the steroid trash insect clan, 
	perhaps seeking revenge - or some crawling deja vu - was my cup
	the target of these creeps, that one escaped wounded and i as i waited
	to mop it away by jings or golly jee another one was headed for the place
	where the cup had been put placed finding itself smashed to bits
	- i obviously have no comment, wouldn't
	you? tik tok comment strike i couldn't understand, knock 'em dead...
	i remove the talk machine from inkrealm, i head wearily to the shop
	mall, a little game of fifty peso bills - camphor and cautious uppermarket
	yes we have no cheese no more except moses era - an actual remote control
	woman - i have never seen lighter fluid...here take more bags than any 
	human could need for a day, for a week...leak of the freak - if you don't
	have baking powder you might as well close up - it is the only thing here fairly
	priced...i bathe not thinking lizbeth scott is waiting in pitfall, i snack
	thinking of florida - i sleep dreaming that i am part of a spy ring inventing
	rock and roll, yes yes bill and haley you know like hey lee and the comets
	for either reds or flying sluts - i swear it is as if a time travel in
	non-lucid dream or someone's recollection as my soul ran away from we have
	no thousand or hundreds here take a stack of fifties...where i can't have 
	a conversation about how the minister was a forerunner for feminists...
	the other comment they didn't like was me saying israel has no choice -
 given that the scenario is all facts, then it is either a brutal blatant
	bloodbath or some peace deal nobody believes in - guess tap oh jean sides
	gin djin - so we have the bbb, or as i like to call it bru bla bloo...
 someone asked what have we as humanity become, cynthia hung another
	another strike six thousand dead children...shield me from all this
	this no ledge as kiev takes their side show south - i'm convinced
	only putin is humane...puttin' on the ritz, i removed ari from
	list hotels not because of philipines or earthquakes but for
	the fact that i really do have a fair abhorance for a certain
	name which happened to coincide with the town she pinned from -
	san justify can - a rose by another name would still shrivel up and
	die sigh boo hoo - see for yourself how it feels when continual 
	neighbor bounces off your door for more - i have nothing against
	the lady, it was only to avoid the bane of this building...
	amen. the world ended with
	world war two... you may not go in peace.
		
			dec 7 -
	when i heard of vegas polit shooting last, my mind raced to worry
	about bailey - i had wanted to try her as two skinny girls blast
	player, but then something like the character i'm reading, 
	i ask myself why did i give the man twenty rubles to help her,
	do i even know her...crime and punishment, he has just returned
 from double axe murder...i didnt recall any dreams two days 
	running, then at the obituary party, i reeled back into that
	one scene that tried to fade out and away before waking - i'm
	in front of the arriflex - i don't know how i know the LB2 -
	stanley is tracking mounted on those film set train trcks -
	he is telling me something i cannot hear - everytime i look 
	back for the mark the scenerey changes as if going from
	shining to eyes wide shut open mansion - a child, a man, a man child -
	mannish child - i get up for a second wishing i had some
	type of wallpaper like the one in the dream - i think it
	must be vivian - but i doze away to wake up thinking only
	of emilee - the thought takes all afternoon, the shopping
	arrives - kitten all lovey dovey over chicken - eat after six -
	for some reason i hurry and don't enjoy my meal but have seconds
	as if trying to feed love as well as myself - i'm not name dropping
	the bitch is back as i don't actually know vivian except via x
	formerly twitter distantly in a retweed...simply reporting a
	a dream - reporters fear questions, arlington known for its
	cemetary wroted off as paranoid conspiracy virginia house
	explosion...Katy tried, I was halfway crucified/
I was on the other side of no tomorrow/
You walked in, and my life began again/
Just when I'd spent the last piaster I could borrow/
	no waco mentioned - boom - dr wu, mister woo, times digs up woon -
	i thought of funnel but had a darn time bringing back tundish -
	they lie about taking walks, anniversary stalks with trial 
	without a murder, one wing broken off, i heard dylan's truckin'
	but you caint hear anything after yoakam's quasi e flat flash -
	ragged but right, jerry i noticed didnt toe tap when playing
	sometimes and it made me feel much better about my own stable
	toes wehn strumming - metronome in the mind - counting down 
	into tomorrow - nearly can't wait for the next slow horses -
	i hope everyone gets to see that episode three, bring me
	everyone...everyone? --EVERYONE!!! 
	
		dec 8 - the miami herlad shocked me in a glance, are they
		confirming the stolen election or simply insane,
		the word bribe came to mind...i didn't sleep easy,
		dreaming in numbers as if a mathematician -
		four thirty eight, for dirty ate, for the tight...
		who knows, all tight pussies and all big cocks
		cannot stand long the contradiction, oh man oh god,
		here is how i am not paparazzi; seen that film
		many times, read the book too - not once took
		a look at who ryan might be, well until now...
		his rizz had farrah...far away and over the hills -
		dear iran please don't squeeze russia's hand so
		hard, maybe someone was trying to tell me the time,
		i got up at four - i thought it might have been my
		self trying to recall the yale combination lock -
		not recently used - used recently however was
	 the musing over "continue without supporting us"
		Ark wallet: AMJU49RKdMSuz8pNPnSMVEzdxXcHA3kuLX	
		moscow times confessed pure mutiny - too bad,
		some real talented writers therein...ps, the
		last line of the previous entry was norman stansfield
		a few scenes before grenades...you know, for matilda.
		me i started thinking about editing the garden novel,
		going into crime and punishment again, dishes to dish,
		most likely the amazing mr williams with the meal -
		when will it be sealed, when will it be healed, how
		will i know when it is all right to really start
		writing again? yes this looks like typing, but you
		must have noticed it is full of holes. a body to
		lay aside before reaching the western lands...
		
		dec 9 - it must have been minutes nearly coinciding
		with the so called presidential son inidictment -
		plural maybe i don't know - one can only hope
		a real historian will note the ironic journalism -
		speaking of irony i spent the night thinking
		like i do some days all over emilee - if i
		step aside and see myself i might say it is 
		like a drug or worse a trance - i planned to
		stay up and pay the electric bill - pharma sea-
		they are swimming by a rack of condoms newly
		decorated with flat round and thin batteries -
		the colombian girl i had met once before shows
		her ear tattoos - little flowery things - i
		get camphor and tic tacs on a whim - hurrying
		back home but it is noonish before i finally
		get to sleep - still an asian midnight - 
		dream of gifts in an apartment i have never
		been in - a shirt attached to a turtle neck
		tee which i try on - it seems nice until
		someone says they have the same shirt - a
		ring that is adjustable with the word
		tenderest or somehting like that engraved
		on the inner side - the talk in two languages
		which is unusual in my dreams - i am going out
		another man hands me what i think is a currency
		bill but later i find it is a fake serving as
		signed note wishing me well - i tell kate
		that i will get her some type of cigarettes,
		it does not feel strange that i'm talking
		to ms hudson - i think happily that i'm going 
		to the head shop where sthey have everything -
		downstairs men are saying they are going to
		cut the elevator wires - i wonder how i am
		going to get back up then remember it's only
		the fifth floor and of course the stairs -
		in actual place only four floors, i'm on the
		second although once in a while the roaches
		treat it as if ground level - my eyes watery
		as soon as i head out of the pharma sea, not
		emotional but i couldnt shake the feeling until
		going to sleep - as strange as finding the
		line 'working like a nigger in a plantation'
		in dostoyevsky which is now in competition
		with the go to 'i;m sick as dog', as it has
		more uses one only need to keep in mind not
		to say it aloud - he was marched out to be
		shot, the prisoners were shot by groups of
		three and he trembled before death but the
		czar decreed a pardon in the nick of rhyme
		- further proof bulgakhov's 'manuscripts don't burn'-
		is truth - time. once again this much talk is
		too much tape...
		
	dec 10, pack up the plantation, anne manne miene mukke, 
	who's there? eenie, meenie, miney, moe, you can only fish
	if you farm a sea - i see jim telling the band 'you
	sound like cripples climbing the stairs' minaro lawyers
	telephone, writer includes the go to line, the views
	and opinions in these notes do not reflect...
	my dream was crowded, a me et in g - conference meeting,
	men in suits - one used a phrase i tried to remember
	but awaking found it fading out - intellectual layering,
	i think it was - it is actually free to be a dumbass -
	but then i thought how many hospitals and jails and
	what would happen if everyone actually healed or
	reformed...ther would be more museums than one could
	visit - i don't know if cripple is politically correct...
	i found out snigger is not in fashion - yet to be 
	niggerdly with words limits the craft to some extent -
	but i have three films to view and not much to say
	except i didnt release land ho before cause my
 pronounciation of frozen felt fumbled like i nearly
	missed the R but i as found it it didnt strike me now
	as if i were struggling to surmount a staircase...no,
	i thought of edwin hill actually and like rod says
	singing look how wrong you can be...i would let his
	granddaughter tie my shoes yet once again the 
	The views and opinions expressed are those of the author
	or his alter-ego and do not necessarily reflect the official 
	policy or position of Minaro. Any content provided by the writer
	or the characters he speaks through is of his and their 
	extemporaneous opinion and are not intended to malign any 
	religion even hindu, ethnic group even illuminati,
	club, diety, organization, demon, company, or individual and 
	alien or corrupt president funding puppet dictator in kiev et cetera...
	anyway, the fact is even if i did say sing fozen, it it should
	go without saying in most cases folks will think they heard
	the full word pronounced i now pronounce you man and disclaimer,
	you may kiss more ass if you see fit. post-script, tangier 
	had me at hanging by the thumbs, fast charlie made me mourn
	james caan, cat person distracted me in that emilia jones
	nearly pulled it off but most of her counter parts in the
	film were mid...like watching say or see in mary queen of
	scots giving it her all while the rest of the cast seemed
 to be sleepwalking...dear fyodor, returning to c&p asap...
	while fixing the rice steak and onions, dream memory kicked
	in - i was with my skirt, but instead of tuxedo he was a
	savannah cat with a handful of savannah kittens...it was
	akin to my encounter with miss lien - wishing her well
	here frem the distance as the wee hours dance away.
	 
		dec 11 - no, road i never raced with brenda irl - we
		talked once or twice in media house...i fell in
		a trance over emma stone's picture as it 
		reminded me of em grant - i went as far as
		the fifth chapter in the book - then slept
		dreaming i was at an airport cafe - a man
		just like edwin except younger was making
		me drink and speaking about how to make
		a smile improve itself - counter to table,
		a girl sat waiting it seemed for the same
		flight, maybe we were together - she glowed
		but i couldn't see her as if blinded by the
		light - 1946, 1951, in my overthinking as
		if ordained to a cinematic task, i stumbled
		upon ace in the hole - adding it to the list
		then also for minaro - not good but not bad,
 sort of like the idea for a cat meat restaurant-
		fried cat nuggets, cat soup, baked cat, filet
		of cat in mushroom sauce, et cetera prolly from
		that horror film when guests arrive and something
		has to be served - of course i digress being that
		i actually met a horrific man that said he in fact
		had eaten feline meat...i still grimace at the thought-
		during a storm another man told me he went hog wild
		upon finding trapped pigeons in an alley and had
		a feast, seemed very happy but i still don't get it -
		although i do get jungle hunger as vietnam vet 
		related the monkey meat meal - still it must be like
		ingesting a little kid - christ no christmas
		again - sterz had a plate of bugs right on the tv...
		yes i know it's all too romantic, i will try not
	 be so seductive in the upcoming entry - those
		years they add up respectively as 20 and 16 -
		but i fear looking at 2016 already knowing what
		there is to find...find to is there what knowing
		already...find two is always two they are yoda
		yolo fine tune i can't find the time to track
		the new tune among others. a mongo the rs, am
		on got her s. seattle is it raining? london!
		dec 12 - dwarf carrying a naked child down a staircase, struggling, i ask if he is all right, says yes
	then the kid tumbles humpty dumpty wailed for mother the midget now angry why is it always for her -
	i seem to be at a cousin;s house having made some rice and tell him there is some left -
	right out step i find keys and pick them up - a woman is with me but she is more a 
	mixture of my own mom and perhaps some aunt - the long straight street tree lined
	dawn or dusk who can tell - how do you know you are not already dead - men are running
	in out direction she is now ahead of me and i see them hitting her - her arm -
 some return to me as i stand there perplexed - spanish thugs saying things like
	yes that is her yes we hit her yes she likes it - none of this makes sense to me -
	i get up wondering if the flight girl was sam gerzack - of course mother stopped
	taking walks by herself and didnt ever say why - i walked in san diego but it is
	one of those places where one needs a vehicle - did emilee get her licence...
	lettuce lay's potato chips turkey cheese bread pepsi - it was last night
	yet i still feel satisfied - imagine walking in lubeck - context kristina's town
	place where nosferatu was filmed - tuesday just as bad even if they call it
	stormy monday - i figure the minister didn't imagine folks could unleash the
	storm via music - riders on the storm - i know my rider if i see her in the dark -
	i might be going to hell in a bucket but at least i'm enjoyin' the ride - rawhide!
 although he was pretty keen on film...where was i ninety nine red balloons -
	eyed buster brown memory - paid thanks to my astrologer in new zealand -
	but my point was or is music can be the catalyst for a turning point even
	a zeitgeist - we're gonna rock around the clock dali tried to melt...
	nineteen thirty one as if to forecast the end of time - the party has just got
	six million votes - heydrich formed intel service - following year lausanne -
	everyone knows they were in power two years after the painting - in my quick
 glance i picked up a new fact, Rauschgiftbekämpfung...you will recognize it
	in regurgitated americanization this is your brain, well there are eggheads-
	and this is the war on drugs - burroughs saw it for what it was ie police 
	state behaviour control - so quick and easy to legalize - it's good to get
	high and never come down - asian woman settles her body against mine in 
	nearly an embrace i got up wondering if it is kosher to use the word caress,
	soap scar dove i stick to ivory. no elephants were used in the making of
	this note scene. 
				evening, nap met me vulgar statue man with penis at the end of legs -
	instead of foot, dark crazed woman either grieving or angry in a funeralesque genuflection
	repeating motion before the icon- gina, no sound - suddenly i'm thrilled at boarding
	a big ol jed and delilah headed to the fatherland - but i keep thinking
	like the actor entering his dressing room to find the prank guys in their
	underpants and exhaling, why these boys are faggots...there also seemed
	to be family - someone forgot something and i race back and forth all
	the while in a wild worry that i'm late - minutes to go - woman appears
	requesting that i get her a bra - i don't know what to say - if you
	want minaro you have to go to minaro headquarters - i'm inky in the
	middle of revolution revolt - the peasants are revolting, yes they are...
	i get to the terminal but the fan in my room is hitting my face so
	i feel more congested than flying upon getting up dress search for signs
	of miss grant - i had pinterested - yes i wait through nonsense glass
	counter leaning against long minutes melted swiss cheese on a roll you
	sure are patient - even if i did say i would'nt wait - arizona hoyt -
	that was then - maria aria has no equal in the art of make up - i noted
	the prada handbag - and her commitmnet to beauty - eye behold note
	caption liked - i don't know if it is moscow - coffee cigarette maybe
	i am still dreaming - steak out of freezer writing this note - thaw
	slow - the show is tomorrow - wait, you know other women? alexandra
	in peter pan makes so much carmichael sense...someone send me ester
	movies exposito..."And before the end of the day we were scattered like 
	stars or rain." emilee doesn't wear eyeliner but katee styled her
	hair in common length i'm only now getting used to it everyday is a
 game of i hope they outlaw red tint. tom jones cried as i chopped
	off my sexbomb chest hair grazing the left nipple with the cutters
	the other one perked up as if in protest hey man not me i'm back 
	from suffragette city of compramos todo lo que sea viejo agaucate
	chant so days don't turn into tomorrow it never rains if they
	have their way a few decades into desert don't say i didnt warn
	them. ps, late night running away from devils, korean body swap
	film spoiled by trying to be cia clever as it disregarded lovecraft, 
	i chased myself all the way into platinum blonde with the meal.
	leah holly inna within my thoughts, anyway you dont need that
	concoction for truth serum mind control on civilians sodium
	pentathol in vein will suffice, nobody can guarantee honesty on
	lsd or mescaline in fact some patients jumped out of windows 
	perhaps thinking they could fly. sigh. in any case souls can be
	put placed elsewhere even wildlife...provided there is a soul in
	in place, consider the elaborate ancient egyptian burial palaces
	ganna peek bellybutton. anwar always reminds me of someone. 
	lace up the race done up. eye nearly fried again, so no
	not yet time to attempt really typing anything except
	these notes...darn or dang. ding dong half a gallon of
	coffee so of course imma be jump scare at the knock sound
	oh dear hi jean, yes the term knockers has gone out of
	style, but you never will, dear angel.
	
	dec 15 - no dream telling 13 i havent changed since i was thirteen, 14 again...the
		line from exile's letter so fixed in my thought i recorded the song -
		felt all right and should be available soon on a few platforms -
		i think i simply like the word scattered, it's in another two
		skinny girls song, scattered like salt in the seas...
		well, i knew slow horses could not compete with itself yet
		the cliffhanger was pretty decent..is the devil in details -
		well at the start it was all the d words that attracted me -
 darling death alliteration dance dream - i read ted morgan's
		literary outlaw twice at least - it haunted me years later
		as i would daze into foreign sleep imagining myself going
		into my room, picking it out from the book shelf - seeing
		burroughs and that french pin on his lapel - now hearing
		of his passing - the thought returned to me yet i do not
		know what it means - the book in my hands through imaginary
		vision - room and shelf all gone, tome might be there -
		it's like spying on myself so i put placed the spy song
		on domain, now replaced with she said - the afternoon i did
		dream and thus this note - yet i lied there was a scene
		before, but all i recall is standing in some line everything
	 a blur around me - in the afternoon i dreamt of lara, it
		felt so friendly, i felt so at ease, then thinking of
		how fyodor oh my it rhymes with dior - well how it is
		action upon action and conversation - if i took a guess
		it would be that he was not in the least romantic -
		i turned briefly inside my own romance thinking of
		emilee and how her day might be going - but suddenly it
		sure was keira in some fleeting dream - awaking in the early 
		evening i recall dreaming after that of being in aunt eva's
		lost house - i am filling the bath with water but the
		water is filthy - i go to the living room and tell my
		then girlfriend that the bath is ready, well i actually
		say it would be a good time to take a bath - she disappears -
		a little girl appears and i tell her the tv show she likes
		is on - in my mind it's dakota yet i don't find it weird -
		returning to the bath i peek at the child settled in front
		of the tv then enter the lavatory - the girlfriend is there
		naked and we kiss nearly as soon as i shut the door - she
		asks me to make love to her and turns her back to me bending,
		i go inside her and start thinking i don't love her as the
		thrusting motion lifts me out of slumber - perhaps it is how
		dostoyevsky felt...not that he loved emilee, i stumble in 
		stubble faced "morning" taking care of the cat and listening
		to some tracks to see which feels right after the spy in 
		the house of love...things to do and shave...somehow i
		don't hurry although confused by dreams and filled with
		desire not for sex, for love. instead of this i should
		be going into a how to...yes, how to survive being in
		love with a self proclaimed annoying lesbian... 
	dec 16, of course i don't find her annoying, although it did take me six
	months to release a new song after fix vein's due - partly
	because at the height of happy july day she "said" ugh and ily
	at the come entry tok talk and i was like no way even after she added
	leave me alone, it was still to someone else...one can only tax
	a phantasy so much - in fact every time i recall it i recoil
	from her and ready myself to give it all up...anyway dakota,
	i meant fanning - star of my king kong remake script although
	the time she played a muslim left me confused and i still don't
	see the point...pint dreams litter afternoon gal on scene no,
	nothing seen - what's between a maiden's legs, no-thing...a
	man possibly well known stands by me i am showing him what
	i believe is my set list from when i daily poured variations
	into a handful of songs - before i realized how ears could
	crawl in reaching through the live sound - song lives now
	although i have not seen the apple or amazon links - 
	sometimes it takes another day or two - 
	
	<a href="https://levelmusic.lnk.to/VN3id3">PRE-SAVE OR ADD CONNECTIONS BY 
	FOLLOWING THIS LINK</a>
	 
	cameron made me think of emmylou's two more bottles of wine
	- sixteen hundred miles from the people i love...
		
			
	dec 17, i dream of a disc -name to be updated mp3- jockey -
	the dj is talking about experience and the time spent
	playing music - later, after worrying about audible
	thoughts, as even dreaming i was not so much listening
	as much as thinking about a collage named january -
	it was even in my dream as if manifesting itself -
	i get out of bed with the bowie song in mind -
	now when he says i am a DJ - it is actually a fact
	in terms of initials but does that make me japan-
	jap a knees - jean harlow in dinner at eight - my own
	after midnight - weird sunday ambush as if everyone
	at the mall expected salvation - i entertain the
	distraction with word play and after the delay drift
	away from the irony that some folks simply cannot
	fathom that anyone could possibly be different -
	i came in here for a special offer guaranteed 
	personality - clash of nose and penis - mash of
	monster potatoes - rash of the mind - time zones -
	interzone - twilight zone - the zone of interest -
	list refreshed - i memorized the lyrics of isis
	but it is only now that i under feel stand 'what
	drives me to you is what drives me insane...' 
		
	dec 19 - what else do i under feel stand -
	half way through crime and punishment, i 
	find the dream sequences so incisive - it
	could only be wroted by someone with personal
	experience or a previous guilt augmented -
	a most classic passage - trying to find
	more information i notice he also kept
	a diary and i notice hardly any memory
	of the idiot much less notes from underground,
	for a minute i think over books only to
	conclude that books are like dreams -
	i look over these notes and fill in some
	spaces with new minaro art - a dozen or
	so - i doze off in the early afternoon,
	the evening before i was dreaming of 
	seeing an early hollywoodland film -
		
	now i was dreaming of some very enthusiastic
	woman, intent on getting things done -
	i think we rode the subway but i only
	recall rising from the steps and her suddenly
	insisting on doing her hair - we walk into
	a generic office building and she sits down
	to surrender to a stylist - i walk around 
	the entrance and encounter hefty but not so
	corpulent men sodomizing each other - before
	the dream i had skipped through a nice copy
	of decoder but i didnt have patience for
	the film save for the scenes with burroughs -
	some ideas are better told than shown -
 you reckon hell who leave me out when me
	you fly i am the wings - one of the men
	smiles at me and i raise my eyebrows in a 
	major nelson manner although no jeannie
	was around - a sort of quirky grin as if
	to say nothing is shocking and glance at the
	salon and i suppose exit for a smoke - stairs
	not elevator - a gang of girls herds in up
	the steps and nearly through me - i look back
	at the salon filling up and hear a screaming
	do it - do it now - but it also sounds like 
	a name is being wailed - danny, danny no!
	i get up and feel a woman trying to hold me -
	for a split second i also think it could be
	ive but also sherry - i get dresses not thinking
	of wait i nod i don't get dresses i get dressed -
	no wife of mine is going to be a deputy -
	i shoot the contradictions down here, mr williams -
	there's nothing like dinner at eight - alike my
	dream and waking it contains two genres all at once-
	ganna got her eyebrows done, both of them and
	i dig up graves, hey man you died during the war,
	right? yes, but only once.

dec 22 i enjoyed the mention of gogol in dostoievsky
	as it conjured the mention of said author in bulghakov...
	aside from the dream sequence i howled at the post-funeral
	dinner eviction scenes - one might have contrary emotions
	over the ending and especially the epilogue as it leans
	heavy into hints of infidelity and not so happy ending...
	prague they say, Czechoslovakia now known as 
	the Czech Republic and Slovakia, mass mess shooting -
	humanity is indeed disconnected from itself -
	i was disconnected from my dream upon waking the day
	before - and got up with an inclination to create
	some new things for minaro, brokpa girl seemed
	to conjure a demon, but i liked the results,
	<so>which i put placed on the landing page here
	where the links were, </so> emilee i felt helped
	with the lovely addition of fish -
	a fragment of a poem swims in my mind but
	distractions overwhelm it - in my dream
	there is a girl - i had been thinking of
	cicely and why westsofia left paris but
	has not resurfaced - anyway the girl is
	in lara's dress, the one with character -
	like a skin tight asian silk wrap - but
	it isn't her i mean it isn;t lara in the
	dream - i'm standing there simply as if
	needing to report to myself - silent -
	maybe because i encountered another lara who
	had just now gone to her first ballet -
	that is a feeling, a magical feeling -
	the sweet light, the intricate costumes,
	the impossible movements - later scene i
	seem to be responding to questions but
	there is a woman handing me notes, a 
	woman i hve not met, the notes on a 
	sort of early model nokia - i read them aloud
	to someone that reminds me of marian or
	as she likes it marie anne - i'm on a riser
	talking like a politician, think mussolini
	on a balcony or something - but i am utterly
	serious - perhaps the verbose nature of the
	novel with its philosophical points of view
	infused me with a desire to speechify -
	i want to say that im apolitical and i am
	but society and news hava a way of making that
	a lie - stances must be taken, ballerinas must
	dance and jump jump jump, i did give one speech
	once in the 8th grade, double murder eight years
	can you tell he really didn't like the penal system-
	in that siberia i trembled, standing up feeling the
	eyes of my classmates, lumiere cinema some terrible
	essay about france and the roots of movies...as if
	foretelling my finding the lumiere movie house back
	when there were still movie houses - bergman - 
	i sat down breathless- i got up knowing that
	this dream cannot be a prediction, i feel lucky not
	to have to give speeches or be political exactly,
	chalk it up to instinct telling me not to speak
	so freely when i talk - not that i can stop 
	myself from typing that perhaps the cold war
	was simply a result of a fictional character
	saying he was going to america in other words
	a bullet to the head - slave days, washington
	bullets, slave to love - emilee loves having
	red nails - i didn't mean to make such a fuss -
	driver where you takin' us - dream scenario -
	that film with pasta - pour the pepsi 77
	says it's an accessory - logic granted i
	should let her wear the belt along with the pants.
	worst wife ever, nickname, cage dropped coppola
	at some point and i can't wait...i'll see him
	in anything so what i'll stand in line...
			
			
						
	dec 23 saturday 
 
	the white box cases 
	floss ears 
	pair teeth 
	air pod two hundred 
	colgate a hundred 'n ninetyeight less 
	the writer awoke before dawn 
	with dissolving dreams 
	and an addict's desire 
	smoking alongside caffeine 
	there and then purple sky 
	axe cuts into blue sigh 
	into lighter shades of moonless 
	blue high now he is clad 
	contrary or at odds 
	as the fantasy crow'd crowded 
	roosting against his intent 
	the riot roars yet it is only 
	to coffee alongside nicoteen 
	bop hop nothing to shop 
	crop away the minutes hour 
	what is it that he wants 
 to say shop to nothing hop 
	bebop a lol giddy well swell 
	oh hell what are your porn ounces 
	do you you identify as a ringing bell 
	or as the bell rings he does not ask 
	for whom the toll bells, 
	sell fish ego mania the synth sighed 
	no bending to no translation whim 
	english inglass ain glazed 
	cold pasta still deli shoes 
	not enough a pizza order pours 
	pepsi now the fridge reflects his 
	chaotic fantasy grants an ache 
	faces try stereotypes yet 
	he knows the box is death and taxi to irs 
	he knows there are many boxes 
	the box of blindness and such 
	the box of can sell culture reece card 
	the box of buying only to buy more greece hard 
	the box of dead children scattered over earth's floor 
	he looks at this poem reminded of the parade in yemen 
	someone has convinced him he has only ever been 
	to the mall...everybody knows the box of limits 
	fourteen miles an hour outside emilee's house 
	he has put placed her in a box of lust 
	convinced himself it is love's true cardboard 
	cut out from devotion like happy meal 
 christmas war isra rah rah el is yuck rain 
	no elections and even elsewhere exported 
	against wagner, richard a mutual soul 
	the fact startled him so he has yet to 
	finish that cosima autobiography 
 in fear that he will learn too much about himself 
	hi ms, elf - the box of eternal reccurance 
	dance echo don't listen to him dan he's a devil 
	not a man trance economy he turns to erotica 
	she calls the orgasm a crisis - 
	cries is was cries and whispers cry sand chains 
	or gas explosion east london hole in the wall 
	movie elvis ponders how the wood splinters 
	he skips priscilla still in fear of the black 
	lies mattress police - no pictures allowed 
	in pick up streets - callous feets 
	might as well give up headphones too - 
	the box of coffins when the music's over - 
 mop top stop - all along the telegraph his 
	name no longer his, now inky, don't call me 
	ishmael - zelig made him read moby dick - 
	well inky when not waldo spree at cheer - 
	three cheers but not in the bronx - 
	hip hip who ray bans met a coin 
	roll whale for your consideration 
	alice has a song called teeth 
	cohen entire record sublime 
	lemon in water breakwater 
	what the fuck is star wars about 
	ian passed away played roy 
	pepperdine road malibu aint for walking 
	he wonders if you consider this talking - 
	_ 
	one fifteen in the afternoon of december 
	twenty third, twenty twenty three...

dec 24 -
	italy the gone house not the migration country -
	ava and zofia - why are we there - they must be 
	asking on their way elsewhere - i speak to z,
	slow and stupid as if i;m filtered so heavily
	the smoke won't swim, have - you - designed -
	houses - buildings ... duh like what else
	is an architect suppose to draw - i feel 
	stupid and slow, watching them leave - 
	evening hovering over the lost balcony -
	they are getting into a double decker
	bus van - a tiger takes up the entire
	first level - the chef was making beef
	wellington - jennifer as lady morton
	couldnt shut up - json file leeway -

freeway - i only suck long dick that
	has been regularly dipped in the toilet
	water - seven for nine - all right stop
	the strip loin torture i get up shower -
	chinese hot water xmas eve - feeling sleeved
	in warm invisible shirt - ganna deep sleep
	hypnotized me so after four slices of extra
	cheese pepsi i left the dirty apartmnent
	chambers to sleep again but estamos aqui
	los muchachos de la basura - honk of
	over and over again horn - the hour long
	yell - i play cat and mouse over the passing
	time - until i am dreaming again - photographed
	meloni but dreamt chainsaw president put placing
	his argentina photograph atop a stack
 	
			
			- briefly
	getting up he talks to dogs am i speaking to the
	lola i buried in the park - dark drowsy afternoon
	martin amos after a reading, mason now we are speaking
	so fast i can't remember a word as if in opposition
	to z tongue glitch - in a shop hong kong asian
	gives me a pack of newports which i look at suspiciously
	and he takes it back giving me two packs of some other
	menthol - sleeping so long i suppose i was looking for
	a cigarette - the dreamer carries no cash - road
	turns spic and pork span - tan two story houses
	real estate man wants to move where he is pointing
	fearing the woman won't let him hi mom growing a
	beard it seems in wiggly strands hair neck -
	sister so it cant be my dream jail kosher meal -
	ten hours well it must be time to get up and pee -
	skirt speaks as if what the hell is your schedule -
	shut your pie hole baby cat this ain't no tv show -
	friskies milk - pink floyd don henley madonna laura
	brannigan tina turner played while i wroted this note.
	ps, in an unexpected turn of uneven surrender to
	to further laziness i stream into a few	more hours
	of sleep, emilee is actually standing by my bed in
	disbelief i imagine with two girls, alivia keira i
	would think - i was looking at a picture of her as 
	as a kid, fetus emilee, somewhat jodi fosteresque-
	then blurry dreams awake with biceps itchy 
	instead of recurring flight plan as if the 
	so called vaccine shot were replaying...
	sigh, slide into a dream where unknown woman is
	is speaking in spanish, i am looking at her daughter,
	an old man walks up behind her literally squeezing
	her eyes and claiming there is no doubt she is my
	daughter...i might have believed the dream but there
	is no way i would have banged that unknown lady...
	the call as if to report it all to  irony's desk
	it is ringing once twice when a man responds and
	i terminate the connection and stretch out of
	bed into the middle of the night.

29 dec - i felt as if viewing a film within a dream yet as i awoke
		i had a vision of winged creature flying right at me, it literally frightened
		me and the movie scenes dissolved in the midst of concern - so a couple of
		dreamless days and with the new song out i didnt want to say much anyway -
		i should applaud slow horses, but i feel i have made that evident, earlier -
		i am actually applauding nyad - but this isnt a diary you know...
		i will say that i set up a space and got some things prepared for
		recording yet inspiration and inclination have not yet joined each other-
		i knew i loved jodie foster, but i had no idea i could get emotional
		over that adoration - pizza was so much sweeter while viewing her - 
		in any case, i can't believe it is taking me longer to get through
		the erotic novel than dostoyevsky...puritanism i suppose or suspect-
		in the dream there is a woman and there is emilee - it seems to be
		a party and the woman asks me to fix her a drink - i have the premonition
	        that it will take more than i can stand to get back to her as i walk 
	        to the makeshift bar pondering over the wonderful ashes that smoked
		from the cigarette chit chat with her - as i start pouring white rum
		vodka or gin a hand grabs my forearm - some man which now reminds me
		of the guy by spence bullying me over simply being there - well he
		hands me a glass of ice which i pour in to complete the libation -
		but there are other plans afoot - i don't get back to the party  -
		i'm in some sort of adventure climb - every time i look back down
		the cliff the space augments until certainly it is a mountain top -
		what am i doing over here with the workers, the scum, the human animals
		why don't i come over to the board...have a coke and smile-  my list
		amounts to a hundred and sixty dollars but amazon and this banana
		republic will charge two hundred more for shipping - it is necessary to
		travel it is not necessary to live so i let it go, might as well take
	        a trip instead if that were the case- i awake before the dawn but
		so does the king reportedly - or maybe he saw saltburn and couldn't
		sleep - imagine to wait that long and find your mother's name taken...
		sometimes delores being a high riding bitch is all a woman has -
		has woman tits el conde but you;d never know - eat your heart out,
		he'll steal your face right off your head - gone daddy long gone
	        deep in thought towers open fire ghosts at number nine number nine
		number nine reason twenty seven why caitlin loves talking - google
		search keira grant brings up muscle bound lady photographed naked
		by david - these words are not premature, these words might be
		too late - mcwherter few sources will say joan had a daughter
		and fewer will mention that her husband resembled ol bill - 
		son died smack in the middle of the red night trilogy - it's
		a wonder that he finished it, i am tempted to re-read place
		of dead roads miracle...in my hesitation, i opened up the accounts
		within harlot's ghost but reading a book in play books does
		not do it for me, i like the print if not then the audio -
		i turn to settle in for the wait, hunted first by
		badlands oh oh oh then sweet child of land mind ear echo -
		not that i have even been listening to music - dunno -
		wait for the ticket, don't complain. six hundred pages in,
		like a companion piece to ancient evenings - weird
		how history even from a few decades ago feels antique...
		in the very near future we all will be saying happy new year
		- note to self, clarke vampire as dick salsa in the story i
		might not ever get to write: dick salsa brushed his
		hair back with both hands before sitting down at the
		dinner table for a tossed salad alongside a club sandwich...
                 where was i oh yeas h-app yn,ear - the din of war
		in competition with fireworks - 
"To stop a weapon that has no cure...you need a man who knows no limits."
		i fear it might be a very long year, how many seasons
		was jack bauer? wait there was a film too, redemption...
			dick salsa spilled the wine as he tried to make
		sense of inky's writing, lamenting that he might be left
		behind like a teaser or a trailer in a story that would not
		be wroted. euanna bennet nuttall grinned from the heavens
		knowing inky would remember her here...
	
    dec 30 i didnt expect to jot notes again until next year, hesitation - from the
    so intimate a dream it feels like kiss and tell - the blonde and i smoking
    narcotics wrapped in a silver lining what clouds maybe she was the one listening
    to drugs and noses perhaps thinking of me - in the moment i don't think of it
    as cheating as she leans against the window in a nearly not there cat suit -
    of course i do feel it after waking - nearing me undressing my lips at her
    breast - a beaten man there entirely at her whim - she leans against me 
     and i reach with my left hand down beyond her bellybutton - i feel as if 
     still dreaming rising from bed as if reaching for a towel against the
    squirt - my thoughts whirl between the laguardia bathroom, reece's big
     window room, and how to explain this to emilee -  but it was only a dream,
	he's only a man lorelei - i race myself to coffee cigarettes and
	add a plugin for drum sequencing - i wonder if it is guilt that
	erases the dreams one forgets - i hear alexandra say i'm the other
	woman, did you tell her about me...but i'm not even certain if 
	it was her, was there a swan ring maria, or lara or even esther,
	yet could it be her testing me...the paranoid man is the one in
	possession of all the facts - i wonder if maya is awake and if she
	viewed my poster...

i wonder how to balanciaga friendships and lust -
	dust my gloom - night falls, enjoyed torn curtain except for the
	head in the oven overkill, there are no women like our women -
	german elite hug o'boss - what we got here is failure to communicate-
	sticker on a norway ass - licker on a stamp end of year stump note
	mail irony the only thing that mrs sauce knew for sure was that
	if the population numbers were correct then gaza ukraine and
	scattered mass shootings were not going to cut it in terms of
	reduction, cleaning the wine without success she debated calling
	in a new strain of covid or vaccine side effects. she poured her
	husband a fresh round. 'see, honey, i got inky by the balls, why
	by the time i get through with him it will be a novel!"
   
    it's the first of the month, yes i know i quote william burroughs perhaps
     too much - my intention is to reveal the importance within his writing -
	in a dream i didn;t have last night then before a man is forcing his way
	into my room, a bag of food - prawns - i'm with emilee but
	she disappears i go to seek her out another room or as the
	darkie put it, block me on instagram but you have facebook
	and i will see you there...a crowd within i ask for her
	but the door does not open an invitation - she is cuffed
	to a man that is masturbating, rejoicing in his display -
	sperm covers his bare chest - constance jean kupferberg
	dead and i get up distracted and democrats at deadline
	without dreams the next day - it takes me a while to
	realize it might be about the zone - mugshots...
	
      anniversary in a few weeks - or to recall the bruised
	bare ass of football uniform team rape how deep sandeep
	mental weakness - he says it was a game of william tell 
	- he says he was checking to see if the gun was loaded - he says
	the pistol fell on the table and went off - set it off
	i guess she didn't like that song - mailer said he is
	possessed of genius but i am pretty sure even he did not
	know or see the possible roots that led to that rotten
	scene - i think he suspected something in the sky - 
        from his choice of getaway location  -  yet one glance at
	1951 prior to september tells me something, not that i am
	smart no not even callate intelligent, but i grew up
	on tv...it was the premier and start of "search for tomorrow"
	- soap opera possible cbs then surely the logo - eye of literature
	jerome david salinger got "catcher in the rye" published and
	went on an even deeper lam wham bam - yao lo mein egg roll
	monday what else ah yes the big tuna, william randolph hearst!
	ergo, he was suddenly searching for an answer, for a tomorrow...
	i havent read citr in a while but in an early part summary glance 
	i postulate, bill as holden - failing at everything in life
	except english...translate fencing equipment for exterminator
	kit...and perhaps there is more but that would be for true scholars-
	as for us, we don;t remember hearst maybe not even citizen kane you
	know rosebud but inverterted budrose, burroughs - red rum shine
	maze the los angeles times obit read w.r. hearst eighty eight dies
	in beverly hills -  bills did not pen after eighty eight, 
	apocalypse with haring, words didn;t come to him, as he put placed
	it...scattered scribblings published as my education a book of dreams
	seven years later...the suggestion of murder is an easy way out
        yet the truth as we well know often hides from ourselves - incidents
	and waves converge or suddenly tsunami sea shakes a happy japan
	year anew who knew - hokusai vision - i know it looks as if i am
	writing but eye tell you i am not, f scott fitzgerald and t s 
	eliot make a stronger case in terms of killing your wife -
	i nearly went out of mind trying to peer into queen of denmark
	question mark - i love my saucy new creation gimmicks but it isnt
	time -  i dreamt of him once, so much came together in lucy fur
	hale, tattoo where i tickled or was it his dead fingers talk -
	courage, here it comes MMXXIV filled with gaza strip ghosts and
	putin's vow to never stop fighting until here endeth the lesson -
	anyway with his knowledge of narcotics it would have been a
	walk in the park to print out poison. hurry up, please, it's time
	over the hills and far away...inka dinka ponky daddy bought a
	donkey donkey died daddy cried inka dinka ponky...	
   ps, noticed right episode 1.9130 by then on nbc went off the air,
chinnock, somewhere in the night, the search for domani star atop tree,
	thats a wrap the feline is out of the bababag the cat inside...
   "I don't think anyone could write a completely honest autobiography. 
	I am sure no one could bear to read it: My Past Was An Evil River."	
	which is later paraphrased in my education; “Memoirs — what you wouldn’t
	want anyone to know. ‘My past was an evil river — un fleuve maudit.'”	
	and previously or earlier in queer, "My past was a poisoned river 
	from which one was fortunate to escape.'" end of ps.
	
	
	jan two i am in a kung fighting dream everybody was like wait
	the jap news didnt get through, redux, try a plane, the plane boss -
        cargo and pass engine plans collide - i'm not making the order
	because what if emilee needs a boarding pass - yes i know that
	is another "dream" but would you have me damn myself to no hope?
	people are different, myself i would not have picked up a gun
	after an incident like that but perhaps it was his intent to surpass
	the ugly spirit as he called it...the shotgun paintings are as
	good or greater than any pollock - jackson flying v sure
	im tempted - she'll be waiting there with a jaypanfan...
	everything is nice and greasy but these guys are like
	hounding me and suddenly i can't move my arms - picking up
	a weight, i try and i try to smash the heads of three men -
	i get two of them for sure bashed in so as to twist their
	skulls inward and the other one well i think he crawled away
	hurt enough to not return - a violent dream dunno why -
	rachel or keet watching tokyo ninja scenes, not that i need
	to explain but there was talk of her as a model or not a model
	and so i put placed her in minaro ad wishing to say you can do 
	anything you set your mind on 
	
			- girl power puff coffee smoke
	tuesday's gone with the wind who could hang a name on you i 
	think about emilee all morning even cleaning up and put placing
	some washed clothes on me - yes even the welded socks go
	into the laundry list, oh dear her laundry list...yeah, maybe
	in my dream mind i realized i was missing a few checkmarks and
	opted to eliminate the competition...still, the day should be
	easy with the dishes done and take out chinese all ready -
	i digress, play my woman from tokyo and wait.
   
	jan iv, second day no dream recall, some easy going scenes blurred
	upon waking - the press shuts up about israel and puts the hype
	on a ukraine full court press seemingly ignorant of the fact that
	it is also russia...well, we need to sell papers...paperback writer
	writer...it seems to mirror the collective error at Ai...yes we
	all had a brief affair with the mechanism but nobody has that many
	prompts to keep going at it...i awoke with keira in my thoughts
	and not certain as to why...testicles breathing now wait a darn
	second - in a hold your breath frenzy - i struggle through fanatics
	and the kitten's morning speech - elton john hallway your song -
	my song in a deadly fight over drum machines - not wanting to
	two graduate with a degree in some sequencer that only beats -
	eat to the beat - i take a seat i surrender to the fact that
	even in a dear mister fantasy i surely need to respect inlaws -
	my left foot is screaming like a model made to work ten hours
	until everything is exposed, smile for the camera crime -
         what is mine - did i get up replaced by mime - darts the minutes
	into hours - fear, if the rolling stones and the beatles 
	recent songs can be vaporized by murder on the dance floor well
	what does that mean - a visually stunning series of images
	overpowers the collective senses - i need to renegotiate my
	deal with minaro - my goodness, dozens now and i have yet
	to dangle a prompt into artificial intelligence - one drive
	retaliated removal by vanishing some of my files - to 
	exaggerate i felt like dresden, to explain some of it was
	related to the reich - to digress and get back to my point -
	that song is a russian anthem which says to me a foretelling
	of kremlin takeover in kiev...after severe consideration waldo
	spree announces he will not run for the presidency instead 
	he will concentrate his efforts on solving the mystery of
	gluten free products and what they actually cost, waldo
	likes the sound of democracy but the incumbent is a barry
	light beer burping a hole of debt into the trillions, t-rump
	has unfortunately become even more of an extension of reality 
	television -commercials and all- and obviously drilled into silence
	by the opposition, ex hexed to death better hide melania mania mango
	go go - the nikkei hey lee kerry doesnt have a penis but might
	use her daughter for the minority vote - not that there is anything
	specifically wrong with a dildo or a strap on, what happens in
	shouting oral in a car stays in charlston heston get your stinking
	paws off me you damn dirty ape, tape, well then being of sound mime
	and bodacious attempts at helping to guess at how to use drum machines
	i waldo spree hereby endorse the robert f kennedy jr camping in walpole...
	too bad pfizer moderna biontech sinovac and merck will prevent votes
	being counted as the sad gas comes around again in november to release
	further arrears.
	
5 december - a late night it is a dozen hours ahead in singapore plus one - i planned
	to get up before seven to catch the spritzer hilton and paige, i dreamt of nothing
	specific except perhaps cloak coin...i got up at nine but found the file
	dropping my coffee cup in front of the fridge two hours later well i nearly
	saw the whole thing - political science major once upon a time picked
	up and twirled by a vagrant near the college...she scratched at her left
	shoulder and then her right...i thought about that for a while - nearly
        in a forget binge watch high desert, not that anyone could explain that
	series to someone else without missing something - so, i can't talk about it
	but i loved it in fact it led me back to tvc15 (the companion to 1991) list
	which turned out to be a monumental task that i paused to possibly remake
	in a simpler manner - but even 91 is reaching into unforeseen terrains -
	train derails at the upper west side - certain locations take me as if
	transported - news baffles me again - welcome back kotter, epistle -
	groundhog day sweathog - what was it, what is it - epstein - who is
	jeffrey...why is this important? is it important? men like girls 
	jimmy crack corn and i don't care, dahlmer didn't like girls, master
	gone away, daddy recent obituary - emilee knew a jeffrey although
	she hates all men said something about nails - homosexuality is the
	best all-round cover an agent ever had...nova clark - the day is 
	getting away from me - beck no more guitar - chef rey apt win does
	lose - newsweek actually reported an alleged creature at some mall
	middle school iowa interrupts prying with perry of all places - 
        i can't imagine - much less national foo t-ball leagues under the
	see tv ads - but that was a good song sebastian not bach i think
	of it as something sc foster might have wroted - let us pause in life's
	pleasure and count its many tears...
        
			
	post script, i watched raise the red latern, i googled why is epstein inportant question mark,
	it said his victims might get justice...by hyping up his name? by mere repetition of innuendos?
	lookit gurl power needs logic not a boogeyman...how about going after the current offenders!
	pretty sure folks in power would know who they are and where they might be...		
 6 jan - up in the middle of the night with a fading dream i make an effort to recall -
 i'm too sleepy drugged by a desire for emilee - i only recall a tan room, a lot of
people, it felt as if i were a model - saturday rising regardless - trip to hotel
	check in, i'm trying to get beer delivered thinking it would be cheaper than
	the bar, but then remember that i don't drink...at the elevator with a man
	and a woman i have no idea who they are but they seem to be trying to filter
	my actions - like chaperones or censors - i get up partly confused and head
	straight into the list feeling that 1991 is reaching number 1991 - i suppose
	a sort of accomplishment i did not expect but that is my stupidity since 
	obviously the list continues as long as cinema is being made, remade, or
	or even imagined...\
 7 jan the guns are out, the editorial board pens pence as war nine, look who's talkin,
wow, mh denies aliens in miami alongside two new species "found" i argue with waldo over
his endorsement as actually none of us have a choice, they are going to	re elect
the incubation man thus stealing a second election from dt, date line Idaho Falls, Idaho
Noel Henry "Chupe" Brizzee, rip rip rip...i tip thoroughbreds, i think when ganna speaks
there are egyptian incantations that go straight into my veins, you're so vain, hilton
back in the new york groove, both of them shuffling through my emilee thoughts	-
no dream recall, i saw the vest minds of suit generation unbuttoned by murder on the dance 
floor echo...a girl is repeating that she is going to get an ipod or was it an ipad,
no, pretty sure eye pod, imgettinganipodforhim...no idea as i rose to sunday,
7777 sound like faraway crickets in stereo my ears...	goal den glows, i need to clean
house, but have you tried tidying up with a typewriter, backspace does not mop or sweep.
			
 dec 8 when the elvis bowie sarah noah lilia su shi "Soon now the year's end that approaches,
 like a snake that crawls into  hole. Already half  length is hidden,
none can stop us losing the last trace? And even if we want to tie its tail,
No matter how we try, we can't succeed..." if you had asked me i would have
incorrectly reported napoleon exil'd in corsica yet watching the outline
of the film which frankly left me feeling too distant from the character,
i learned otherwise...the man loved france yet wanted russian vagina,
finally settling for austrian...i suppose it's not only shakespeare one
needs to brush up on, history - his dream on city streets, had been thinking
of faith collins, she reminds him somehow of ms grant - goodness gracious
great balls of fire - building entrance the book on the steps a woman
is taking a photograph - glossy cover - i can hear emilee trying to 
express explain that she was trying to contact me- lugwig ears i get
beethoven fears - does my wishful wanting speak its mind within my
thoughts, or do foes tell these tales upside down in reversals or
whatever fits their film - deaf to my own death-defying truths -
distracted by the next dream in my dreams - this guy walks into
tik tok dissecting the egg scene without success yet proving 
last burn salt is a self contained revolution of sorts  -
college courses on the horizon - who risen, sos, westsofia777
not seen since leaving paris 14 december - insta silence -
my further is fueled by the loss of sofia duarte smoked out
obituary - tomorrow never knows - i listen to los lobos - 
a couple of quarts of creamy ice - haus cups restored -
haus brand corrupted by cuesta - or how is the store's
name on the sewn label - he refuses the eggs to appear sensitive -
sheep cloth - the stars looked lovely despite the news stories
put placed adjacent to J.E.E. hints of no more miami's to come -
jee or gee, who brings good things to life - general electric
bill, men at the door - juan el agua juan el agua yelling as
if the buzzer were out of order, as if buzzards intent on
toppling tranquility - still in my memory as i sit to 
note how much i can't stand that monicker - i forgo cooking
i procrastinate upon cleaning the place - is there is a race-
phantom threads, indeed the distraction stays here - 
he says they come with teteras, i say what the hell, i'm
calling you el tetero, what is it i never studied formal 
spic - it must be a saucer, much later opening the elegant
boxes they are tea containers for pouring into the cups,
no saucers, specualtion - not aliens but holograms through
the portal at incorrect location - dammit they went to 
seminole, what maps are they using - didn;t we clearly
say semex in madison wisconsin - these hybrids won't be
ready anytime soon - don't worry fornication team has already
formed september virgo babies - you mean if the democrats dont
eat them before november nom nom - this was nearly as bad
as the time buckley tried to make charlie into adolf - hey
der kaiser ist tot - long live beckenbaur - here is a man
responsible for the vietnam war i mean no i mean the next time i
rode the bus i knew my love had turned to lust twice in the
dust one of these days i'm going to bust the gust simply because
i must.
 nine jan - i get up at noon overly concerned that i have mashed up
	emilee's day - usually i try to be awake and aware although
	i'm not sure why myself - what is that song from the other
	side, she's trying to hide, pretending she don't know me -
	or was it freewheelin'...whatever, there is that hesitation that
	it is only me wearning my want in a hide and seek wherein
	i do all the searching - call off the sos, sofia rose up
	shine - i shivered in joy - in my dreams i sauntered as if
	summertime - no jacket no coat - strolling down from amsterdam
	on my way to broadway these are avenues - 112th street, there
	is furniture outside the apartment where doris lived - i think of 
	her in passing - the dewey decimal sign seems a mile away -
	waking up i think it must be hellbender trying to say if you
	think ganna can belt an incantation you ain't seen nothing -
	i had wondered if she was at school - of course hilton and
	gabi and the jewish girl that loves to cook who i said ily
	in grant retaliation yet not entirely without affection given
	that i based a character in dorm/studio screenplay on her -
	anyway, the ghost of tessa majors who didn't columbia but
	right next door - more timid than jamie who i have felt -
	where was i yes i felt someone there albeit i only saw the
	street - exterior extra power rv i'm cleaning what belongs
	to me, saint p, house cleaning extraordinary - no need for
	maid i felt as i even washed off the just scrambled plate
	and pan - laundry to better nap - (so two men werent enough
	to werewolf your howl how about three men by the trash as if
	grown boys naturally gathered before waste containers to talk -
	i flash the knife striking a bag in the littered parking
	space as i made my way back in - one key two key no no
	until the third key - distractions that cannot be translated-
	what i mean is that there should not be a mozzart, it is
	simply blasphemy - yet there is and now i have to live with
	that irony too - i like the no pressure notes of not actually
	writing - but yes i do wish i were typing for a story or
	book - i only intended to parrot the line dog meat free 
	korea is coming but why be delicate when delicacy is gone -
	shoo shoe - now to show the shoa meaning calamity - chabad
	brothers in metropolitan or out of the frying pan and into
	the fire dude in that detention center even the guards
	get rude - did viera take viagra - no. kosher means no
	condom, right? - he got a real pretty mouth aint he - holy
	hole irony boywonder - dudes dug themsleves too deep -
	to think fugitive excavation turns out fine but orthodox
	finds hellish captivity - dog met freak core ear mine bounced
	after benny goodman headphones, right one - i felt supernatural
	so it was tuesday i also learned lizbeth scott recorded a bunch
	of songs, i listened liking although my love really got going 
	after ricky nelson's there goes my baby 1958 the album vibes
	nice but for me that was the stand out - sit in on freshly
	made bed - stolen face on the stream - yeah i know she's
	lonesome cause i'm not by her side...
	dec 10, scored nugen audio gear...late night fantasy mind filled
	with faces of muses i felt a hearfelt catfight and in confusion
	went online shopping without buying anything but did find one
	seemingly cool music shop and a luthier in town...dreaming
	i am with emilee in a house where we are taking care of a
	child named christine..sherry had been talking about the 
	christ as in compassion and kristie spoke about not 
	surrendering to the endless tik tok scrolling loop but
	in the dream i'm not compassionate in fact i keep wondering
	where the kid came from without much affection and usually
	there is no technology outside of an electric guitar in my
	dreams...i'm embracing her but facing her back, it all
	seems too easy, that is not a care in the world and i feel 		
	we moved out of the christine house and into some apartment
	that reflects the ease, that glows with adoration and i
	wake up at nine trying to figure out the meaning of the 
	little girl in the earlier scene...

)the outlet crown the hearing called
	shows the wail is concunin head of chabad
	and it looks more like war pro politelty intended
	he had recently onnering a now nulemate now the youngo save
	their lives by building step down
	it's obviously very uwas made public our utope
	metaphor for lubavitch comgoldstein firing by a lovelicit
	of the image i the world this is a decision three...

jan 11. 
	i thought a while upon how miss forseth resembles emilee
	in some pictures - picture this all in bliss - picture
	the fingures, get back, a dead ringer but i thought the
	same while beyond myself with mrs bond weiss - a day
	away i stumble upon the nearly made oh canada oh list
	oh listen perhaps i couldn't hear yesterday - film
	is a tore mended writer on the precipice of 
	the vietnam conflict - produced via exemption -
	recipe - unzip file screen dream adding effect -
	mind perhaps distracted by secret tunnels, the
	casual use of the word genocide inside outside -
	what might have happedned to alexandra in tube you
	pause - but you know it's dangerous to put place
	yourself so freely - after nyad, the only truly
	feminist film i have ever seen is the disappearance
	of shere hite - not to mention the captivating
	mound of mowed pubic hair - imagine to work so 
	hard to be silenced in your own land - one could
	write entire books about this one, this woman, this
	irony of freedom and truth turned off in a collective
	amnesia and dosed out as if daring decades later
	in the misguided forms of fake gay rights or more recently
	bee m elle - results in for example eleven year old
	kid shot in mississippi - everybody celebrates - i wonder
	through the foe ceremony that forces me to think over 
	abuela abuela abuela then abuela abuela abuela when
	not aguacate aguacate aguacate - my grandmother was
	an avocado melting my mind all day until i blow out
	sneeze snot for an hour at midnight...nobody can eat 
	fifty eggs - i mean nobody has that much mucus  and yet
	a dozen damp kleenexes prove otherwise - i contemplate
	the cocky nose hypothesis - ex convicts and constructed
	flim flam priests praying nobody can smell the dirt -
	except nostrils don't pee, so how would that work and
	why pick on me - suddenly popular? inky pours out ear
	wax saliva snot in the stupidest attempt to please
	the population of here we are - how many jehovas
	does it take to wit nest - jay who vaseline - the
	vise grip oh i gripe - i mean i don't even eat grapes-
	sitting duck spirit heads up their anus - if someone
	ever tells you about a bible thumping temple witness
	gehoba run in the opposite direction - antisemitism
	would make sense if it were about the watch two her
	announcing cheese kingdom printed in pennsylvania -
	hidden in faceless masks - pretend family pretend
	god pretend dog or even cat - miss mouse will you
	marry me, emilee hates frogs...pretend there is
	a lobby - pretend there is a doorman porter - i 
	didn't know that when printing out iran script -
        see...orthodox jews don't pretend and very few can
	claim pain or punishment via their vices - i smokes
	me ices drinks me coffees - i over write on thursday
	racing away from the surrounding shouts, running away
	from the conflict vietnam precipice - what price the
	same name - the real genius is not naming children
	after living relatives, it seems - stomach growls
	but i had an apple on wednesday i mean of course
	pasta and vanilla bean - not a bean in my pot not
	a care in the world - no car to put place gas park -
	lara call an uber - cosima pictures now that is
	a treat in fact made my tuesday improved despite the
	aforementioned ahem - well that was a mouth full
	blabber mouth pull and shovel dig up shere hite
	lick her pussy all night long in praise.
	
	jan 12...f-rid,ay i'm not writing this, i'm rewriting this after
		browser mishap in other words take two - i was already 
	       done only needing the title of an episode mentioned -
		well there then where was i - indeed where was i
		waking up at noon from pastel tan dreams neither
	        wood or cardboard - who knows perhaps in those
		vanished paragraphs i needed to mention robert
	       plant's dream album - cool sounds - as i took a
		few steps into the day the idea of the dream
		disappeared - substitute thoughts and worries
		fought against my natural stance - i sat down -
		i searched through email social media stocks
		huh S&m nobody uses that jape - tape tiktok
		found a stream of jew and anti jews storm -
		it is perfectly acceptable to hate the jew
		in general unless you are in show boat business-
		how does it happen, how does it happen for
		thousands of years - in this case based on
		innuendo harder to believe than pizza gate -
		underground tunnel to vice article 2013 -
		my own article, cemetary death match, tells
		you why the proverbial "we" keeps to itself -
		otherwise have you met a jewish a mother and
		if so do you really think she would...
		yet logic, it seems, has no place - an hour races
		away over mattresses and rats with hats -
		even in defending the orthodox one finds
		the filtering attempt to turn it all on its head-
		is haul simply vogue as need to heil -
		yes i know it is a bit of a contradiction to
		admire the third reich and then pronounce these
		positions - but that is only an intellectual
		fine line which feels all right to walk or wander
		through - talk the wine pouring which movie
		to goblet cup - another hour before rote 
		sonne, i am going to sleep for fourteen hours -
		one character tells the other a writer and so more 
		time into the list plus the mae west car stories -
		somehow i am getting it all done even as the day 
		feels like it is making turns simply to get to 
		tomorrow - i lift weights i play my scales  i
		do the laundry i fix the meal i water the plants 
		i try out new music software, i look at several
		tutorials in disbelief wanting to murder the
		one that seemed to take too long to get to the
		point - to think of all one needs to simply get
		ahead or get along not to mention passwords -
		well i can't seem to get a grip on the minaro idea i had but another
		one arrives, put placed here already - being that
		that i don't think there are any dear readers much
		and the visitors come merely for the photographs -
		i could be wrong, hopefully not wronged, in case
		an excerpt of the mentioned fiction was print
		published at the alice blue literary review -
		emilee hardly in view yet i thank ganna, keet,
		and estelle for making me feel less lost than i
		was - as pretty as the actresses in the film -
		half bath in the cold water, clean up litter
		lean anger over cat pee couch - possessed kitten-
		demon in fur like the one that bites the back of
		my leg - do i need a feline exorcist - well i suppose
		they are subject to noises also - the tv has not been
		on since summer maybe i should turn it on for him -
		story inspiration the castrated genital part in 
		lara's hand - so it seems a muse well - swells
		the bells sings the rings telephone tranquility
		but yes i cut off the notion of william f buckley
		going off on charlie manson,the implication of the 
		manson phenomena...s203...fee truth, wfb always
		impressed me otherwise i have paid for some of
		his spy books, if memory serves the only author
		i ever "rented" ran into an audiobook i never 
		saved and downloaded it - wsb, restored text -
		the title now feels fulfilled - some things
		you can take literally others not so much,
		necromancy i mean come on - reference to
		yesterday's finish line which might not
		feel as poetic as i intended. intense, i
		suppose some things are too intense - looks
		as if i gave up on that erotic thing i
		was reading - need to find something
		else to satisfy the culture in ear, deaf
		to peace the democrats bomb one of the poorest
		countries on the planet - do you want fries
		with that? saturday will arrive but it probably
		wont feel like the week has ended until sunday -
		does it ever...hitting commit, wish me luck.

jan 13 - the 1864 title was The Life and Amours of the Beautiful,
	Gay and Dashing Kate Percival, The Belle of the Delaware, 
	Written by Herself, Voluptuous, Exciting, Amorous and Delighting..
	i got up with an even longer need to sleep some more -
	drowsy i danced for a bit decided to make certain emilee
	delivered herself safely but after an hour i opted
	to return to bed - the naked body felt no honor in
	knowing that perhaps it was being selfish...i got up
	again and delved deep into vst plug ins to establish
	further ease for when recording starts up - a damn
	truck load of effects but there it was that ultrafunk
	which has no equal in terms of flange and i already
	had it but somehow it was no longer being picked up
         by the daw - and these came through but as demo -
	note the software is a bygone relic - i tried
	again with a couple of sonar set ups wherein it
	used to be "bundled" but wound up only worried
	over malware and bitdefendering myself into
	the late afternoon - in dreams i had lifted a 
	girl through a crowd of men in military uniforms-
	i felt no trauma from all the trumpets that
	officers of the law had blasted my way pre-
	pandemic days and nights - i view a bit more
	of the film, angelina tells me it wan't ava in
	the dream but her - a birthday wish - look
	ma, i air jordan...well i did contact comment her -
	alivia is singing and i am full of potatoes
	green peppers and eggs kool aid - i lay
	me down again, lara swriling through my
	thoughts like a dream - it was nearly eight
	but i got up only an hour or so later at
	nearly ten - dream it was the first day
	at university and i am joining a line with
        a girl that strikes out in front me -

she wants to be be first but the person
	in front of her tells her the man behind
	her had actually been there before her
	- he swears by the heavens in language that
	is an anachronism - i can see myself holding
	back a sarcastic response, doesnt he know
	how to women and children first gentleman
       oh well and sighing as i get up knowing that 
	this too was a far cry from rest - time travel england present day
	with spirits from another epoch - i'm not as
	tired as i was yet i am also not as tired as i could
	be - going to bubble up another minaro champagne
	and collect myself for further dreams.
 	14 jan	casey jones was born that year i don't think she was on cocaine-
		i dunno i simply could'tn get through it - can't imagine
		a bitch sitting down smack in the middle of the civil
		war and employing the quill in such a fashion...the year
		dostoevski wroted notes from underground...i went to
		sleep without any internal arguments - i found myself
		inside a city building looking out the window - 
		downstairs dalva, a mother figure of mine - is making
		scene over her dolls - i want to go and help her but
		i am naked and also can't find the exit - i step out
	       through a fire escape for the unclothed escapade -
		i wake subsequently - recall the other time i dreamt
	       of her, she was still alive then, flickering crucifixes-
		wicked smile of her face - passed away lupus - pressed
		my index finger as a child for boys don't cry, son -
		her apartment was filled with magical objects i was
		only there once now wondering what became of it all -
		the rag doll disappeared that lived on the recliner -
		i mean from my old apartment, i mean that might be 
		what the dream was about - fist cork screw bottle
		opener gone from that kitchen too - these are a couple of
		gifts she had given us - the place was vanishing before
		it was tooken, if only i could read the foretelling -
		i listen to john five and joan jett - i take another
		nap feeling the meaning of i'm losing you - john 
		lennon in horrid 70s suit on the obituary steps -
		meanwhile the l a times admits their heyday is over -
		would you? would i? in the nap dream something is
		alluring my cat out beyond the balcony and he jumps
		onto street level as i wonder how is he going to
		ring the buzzer or maybe i should go get him and 
		things of the sort - i wake up soon enough finally
		feeling i have got some sleep - i make pasta with
		reluctance, i follow it up with strawberry ice cream-
                i skip through godless the eastfield exorcism...
		emilee is not stepping foot in australia...
		i don't want to near the kitchen, but the time has
		come - the order from the supermarket won't arrive 
		until tuesday - i want to keep shopping and buy
		a belt and maybe cheap sunglasses - these won't
		arrive until twelve days from now and actually her
		birthday, they say...it's the only time i have
		had three pending deliveries all at once -
		i milk and friskie the cat - i hope i can add
		the elusive box from new york to those three -
		i switch to clean clothes, if all goes well
		might continue the attempts into drum machine
		instances...i've got one progression, E/G/D -
		i like it so far and may have a riff for it -
		thought it would serve well since i play my
		scales in e - but i think this could be in g
		too, with only seven notes music can sure get
		confusing - oh yeah i have another groove in 
		c minor but i'm certain to not play that funky
		music just yet - my plan is to record some set
		notes i've long ago held. first to figure out
		some of the new equipment...

15 jan - surreal dream with girls none of them
		emilee...i suppose after weighing the facts, it
		simply cannot be even if it is my hope's desire -
		love is not logical yet life continues to calculate -
		i cannot climb the fence of contradictions - maybe
		in allowing it to leave me she will return...in the
		room that is lit low and glowing i am on my knees,
		the drugs have to be eaten, well to be precise chewed
		and then jigsawed into place like some bizarre antic
		in a tribal beer making ceremony where women sit around
		biting the roots and spitting the extract into buckets
		that are nothing like minaro straight bucket fur caps-
		in the dream i feel like an outlaw dealing in narcotics
		but also like a man that has lost sight and dream of
		the girl he wanted - i get up but i don't get out of bed
		and continue dreaming into the city wherein the blur of
		a woman - for i cannot see her or the metaphor intended,
		tells me she is going out and i only feel jealousy, suspicious
		minds instru-mental - i follow alone finding myself spying
		on her at train platform with some friends - these are the
		corruptions that have divided us, i must be thinking - but 
		i am not thinking and decided to not get on the train only
 to find that next train won't allow me to get wherever i was
		going on time - i hail a cab hauling out questions, he tells
		me the time of the next railing, he tells me he has to get back to 
		his gig if i am not a fare - fare thee well - the dark grime
		of the streets still glitters and i find this check which i
		suppose was what i was going to get beyond spying on the
		blurry girl that was with me then gone to town - the date
		i from the 1990s - i put place it in my pocked and walk until
 waking...the day is a lightning bolt flashing against my
		intentions - i feel overwhelmed, one two three four five six
		seven eight telephone calls or more back and forth details
		of a new order - execute order sixty six - what the fuck is 
		star wars about - my thoughts yet revolve around her words -
		in the book, there was a dream wherein she disappeared 
		as a freight liner passed - even incomplete the book looks
		like a book - i still wish i could have brought it to nineteenth
		century happy ended ending...how long does it take a man 
		to realize he cannot want what he wants - i let the girls
		take the lead, perhaps it was a coup - cup of drop out
		rachel or keet explains - i had long wondered after she first
		said university with expectations and so i feel her feeling
		both of us having to switch from the expected road -
		alexandra lists her hates curiously leaving out war illness
		poverty and cold weather one hundred days of it's not
		genocide the paris fashion week then the berlinale -
		but everything seems weird if love cannot love leaving
		lust to shine in shadows breathing through lights shaped
		within lonesome shoulders that once carried the sour
		burden as if a sweetness, that once cried as if nothing
		could ever again matter, that once was unaware of itself
		in waiting for a word for the vow it had tried to make and
		even to take...the dream taken from me, i don't have a 
		dream, i have a sick memory of a slick man in a shiny
		suit zombie dad mom talking about ties a clipped strand
		of hair joke mustache all wrong no lunar landing or
		perhaps lara has taken over, musing over her own antics -
		so lovely i hardly mind the mix up - my apologies to 
		1864 even then vulgarity -unless vitriol- doesnt make sense.	
		16 jan - there are notes on a desk, a library or book shop -
		i feel i am reading, as in giving a reading but it is 
		either by burroughs or about burroughs - two women 
		crowd the desk as i approach the place where i am
		dreaming that i am speaking - one says to the other-
		he even resembles him, within my thoughts i disagree-
		not wanting to give the impression of an impersonator -
		raw blue royal valentino winter red lara i get up in the
		middle of the night knowing it is later in gay paris -
		how the meaning of the word has twice stitched on new
		significance, from glee to same sex grooves to awful -
		i'm sure we are waiting for the third incarnation -
		i'm wide awake and feel fine but i hesitate to carry
		out my plan since i am expecting deliveries...might
 i sleep more and then i sleep even more with whirlwind
		thoughts involving emilee - feeling something, regret
		memory - i can't say - i can say it is not a direct
		message, a clear sign - i stick with my plan to let it
		go and see what happens - if nothing well i will feel
		foolish over lavishing her with attention yet what is
		one if one does not follow bliss - miss kiev, it was
		never kyev and had that clown, now in power without
		the people having a say, simply backed down when
		the kremlin said it's peace on nato...then all the
		war wouldn't have been. period, america just celebrated
		the russian agent's day...fbi agents still wanking off
		to the motel tapes, listen to this roger, he's moaning
		like a machine...kiev miss history - the long table
		i sit at in a dream where a man speaks of lara as if
		trivial, oh that big legged child, white table cloth
		another man rises and returns with a bottle of wine
		which he put places in front of me - i reach out to
		read the inner notes of the label but the glass turns
		into plastic like an olive oil container and spills
		out some as i lean it to learn the small print -
		standing it up again i gaze about the gathering -
		it feels like some out of tune mansion or floating
		super yacht - i know these places, i know all places
		except hindu hideouts and i'm not easily impressed -
		i get up, still early but noon on london time -
		how much did murphy pay the dallas quitback to 
		quickly toss a salad for green pay - i don't watch
		the nfl but tik tok made me think about it and 
			since the music industry is now intimately
		involved with the hoopla via swifties well what can one
		do - hmm i am being naive, the superbowl concerts precede
		that - but still there might be validity in the concern-
		corner office dream steering wheel vault lock i am turning
		the gates are sliding shut the lights dim i am going
		to feel safe and sound but suddenly an actor is in front
		of me - the stoic father in saltburn - richard grant, i think
		but don't say anything only worried that again i am not
		alone - the irony never ends. 
			
			dec 17 no man knows till he experiences it - what it is like
		to feel his own life blood drawn away into the woman he loves...doctor
		seward gave his blood, i hesitate in the quote and the writing, they
		don't call it swaziland no mare, horses you cannot pronounce -
		because he lost his own wife and perhaps it meant a recognition
		between teetotalers...espn article wroted by dan MURPHY 11 jan,
		--ncaa to further evaluate proposal where school would PAY athletes --
 the answer comes before the question - i dream myself wandering through
		an extremely large house, nothing like it nowhere, and within the
		people are pressed together all standing - for some reason i want to
		arrive at another room, i can feel the bodies while squeezing through -
		it makes an intense impression, arrival room is equally packed - i awake
		my mind still stacked with thoughts of emilee - alivia is crying over
		her thirteen year old self - the day escapes me, but i kept scanning
		over robyn while cleaning up and cooking - her face reminds me of 
		someone, immediately feeling familiar, the slow winter witch makes
		us drowsy and we nap, but i can't sleep - even talking to imaginary
		friends about emilee - if a girl blocks you seven or eight times,
		i don't think you have to honor that adoration...of course i am
		stubborn, but if it's only numbers that is trivial, it might be a
		sign or signal...still the folly in trying to return an ace
		bends the racket...within me i feel she adores my bent racket, but
		i can't ping pong inside the contradiction- is it making me look
		like an idiot - frozen i can't move, kate surgery sure to miss
		bafta - when bad things happen to good folks it frightens me -
		i tighten my resolve against a man pretending he can't tell g from 
		h while pressing the intercom sound, since i am expecting packages
		i race only to hear him say he is going to the place next door -
		bat out of hell war 2h vs 2g how many times, somebody should be 
		tolling a bell - headphones nearly miss one of the deliveries -
		same nuissance running up the stairs as i peer through the 
		door don't even tip feeling they are going for an elaborate joke-
		must be worse for maglione across the street, damned cvs guards
		made them get a cvx suv it seems - i can't imagine...i make
		a mental note to jot inna's answers after recycling an elvis
		cup i had long ago wanted to not have - flying dreams indicate
		a deity within your higher being - colors indicate third eye
		activity - smell is equivalent to psychic knowledge -music
		indicates an ancient greek bloodline - if you know you are
		dreaming your soul ain't of this earth - if you can feel
		the weather that soul has had many incarnations, eating 
		positions you to astral project - and strangers say you
		have supernatural powers - she tells us ending at the nine
		of swords - 
		18 jan i get up in a dream, walk to living room, lights don't
			react to switch, over at the fuse box beyond the kitchen,
			i find a man fiddling with it, unknown to me, seems
			to be at work, then seems to vanish, i take a glance
			at the back door, the locks undone - i try to establish
			their security awaking feeling weird...too early,
			concerned over lara i later dream date with ganna and
			we are in a taxi both of us three in the front seat,
			i ask the third if i can pay with a card, yes, at some
			station or perhaps airport there is a delay, i ask her if
			she wants food and we get in line for fries, i pay and go
			out i suppose for a bit of air, a group of women in
			a golf cart arrive, director with them greets me, one
			of the women nears me standing naked i recognize her
			body yet in trying to connect it to her name i awake..
			fashion week paris, one girl missing in the fourth -
			i hope she is all right but those events usually turn
			out in no happy ending...Linda Stoltzfoos was the last
			girl i insisted had to be all right only to have my
			wish unsatisfied by her killer getting 35 to 71 year
			sentence, i know this happened to her over kindness,
			in Paris or New York we all keep walking at even the
			hint of 'excuse me, hey can you help me with whatever...'
			bulgakov predicted the postmodern silence with never
			speak to strangers...
			
jan 20 poe's birthday party leaves all writers bruised and battered -
	there's a street in my hometown named for him...
	before the festivities there i was circa 82nd
 street broadway passing a street vendor that gets
 robbed watching the thief race out into the 
	roadway island and run around chased by the vendor-
	i get up at the perfect time but the turkey
	sandwich knocked me out again to get up at the
	awful middle of the day - in the middle of the 
	night i am still feeling drowsy, neither here
	nor there - alone yet haunted by myself i suppose-
	a before q, heartfelt theft without love -
	the idle man dreams again, towels washed -
	i'm in apartment three k and i can't leave
	it dreams, home - a former friend sleeps
	over i instruct, shut the door feeling
	eyes at the entrance - the thing about
	the scene was not the acquaintance or
	the eyes but going to the closet that
	was on the right side of the hallway
	pick pulling out satin pink blanket -
	thinking it over it is like a shock -
	no dream ever felt as real at least not
	recently - other scenes infected with foreign
	agents, vendor scribe deprived of rem -
	still the silver handle circle pulled with the
	door folding into its v-shape stance -
	everything there save for the green towel-
	i thought upon waking i didn't see the 
	green towel well that is how real it
	reeled, sealed now in distraction of
	start of day hesitation, where i should
	clarify some points but i won't - 
 saturday night is all right for cooking and cleaning,
	well as i sat lamenting the cheap vinegar
	instead of heinz with the lettuce i thought
	this might be good, there won't be aything
	in the way if want to start recording -
	part of egypt melted as ganna wore a tight
	red dress for the first time, maddie went
	to dublin and turned it into a dozen stories -
	i truly enjoyed all of them - counting my
	clothes and dividing to conquer my leather,
	i felt happy that paris fashion week was 
	coming to an end, not that i don't love lara
	- it is only that after the 22nd i won't
	feel any obligation or worry in terms of
	that frenzy - not that i had to concern myself
	with it but how does one deny one's own nature -
	i tried hiding my love for emilee, for example,
	only to meet the quote 'love grants in a moment...'
	alexandra's iced coffee in winter, i suppose if
	you are that hot...heavy on the right shoulder
	i got up at three in the afternoon, two eastern
	standard time, six or so london, glasgow - 
	the unusal fact haunts me that i left lauren
	over a kneecap concert and as their criminal
	film emerged i tried to leave emilee -
	of course, i can't leave anyone...neither can 
	you unless you erase your memories...in dreams
	i try leaving a restaurant saloon, the unpaved 
	avenue of turn of century western america 1890s
	vest boots wooden structures outside looking in
	as an actor arrives who i can hear before seeing
	and don't actually look to gaze or stare, he is
	speaking of the saloon restaurant and they are 
	rolling out a greeting party...i get up from 
	the ground, i get up from the dream weighing my
	mixed emotions over once upon a time in the west
	or was it hollywood, the one that smashed bruce
	lee and turned the charlie manson story into
	a joke - i had listened to the charade soundtrack,
	isn't that where the theme from il padrino got
	produced but you can hear too how mancini listened
	to the classics and learned, then diary of a madman
	to spy on rhoads riffing but i didn't feel the 
	hype over sato was deserved - but maybe the only
	hype that is right is macbeth - in thoughts a few
	of the lines arrive before i hear them and it makes
	me feel not as dumb as i think - i put place the
	old lyric book with the magical cities listed on 
	the back, one of the songs now makes me think of
	robyn and lara instead of suze, shoes and the blues
	i'm still baffled that the loose pages i had insterted
	somehow got left out - only a couple of lyrics but
	what if they were the one...the needs of the many,
	vulcan mother in that hallway is perhaps my favorite
	memory from home, imaginary yet fleshed out in
	living scenes seen...i seen true detective, she
	hates the beatles...but all i could think was
	you went to iceland! chapter two is tonight i think,
	already in the valued file.

23 jan - oh i see haute cotoure spelling torture follows week -
	haute couture..hot co-tour...
	of vice president silence - death party follows in the press, 
	i hope mary weiss knew i liked her shangrila song a lot -
	so out koo true - that word reminds me of how dalva said
	auf read it oh meaning me - i suppose i should restart these
	notes as the series has gone book length - where was i ah yes
	chapter two - bodies on the ice rink - what the dead want -
	i'm so enchanted that i get up that next day not knowing
	if i was dreaming about jodie foster or holding an imaginary
	conversation with her - i think will do that february -
	i went shopping and shot the day waiting for a delivery -
	exhausted it was then i realized lara was only getting 
	started - leave it to men to miss the point, lack patience,
	and go deaf at the wrong time - a bill of divorcement,
	maureen as the ultimate daddy's girl - but wait that
	frenzy is it also mine - for a minute i worry but not
	really - too cool for school - i go back to the original
	wherein katherine is truly stunning to behold - so much
	so it makes me think of elizabeth taylor and i find the
	note she sent me put placing in the list - it feels weird
	as a writer to admit seeing her had a greater impact on
	me than seeing ginsberg - just one of those things - you
	know the eyes have it - i wanted buffalo to have it but
	obviously the league wants swiftie publicity and so 
	wide right people talk scripted but come on you fake the
	field goal and go for the touch down hell or highwater -
	at least fans still have college play where the effort
	is often palpable dude they were all like see you later
	great game even as an entire town felt suicidal - michelle
	young i can't look - yes i still don't watch and the tv
	is yet unplugged - just happened to keep a peek at the reels-
	seeking club zero like we are pals, i tell mia it was the
	movie of the year in a rant against oscar barbie for the
	hype - at least nyad got some and hopefully el conde and
	the teacher's lounge will turn out winners - two turkey
	sandwiches and i turn in for a nap around noon after
	installing yet another batch of the bitch is back vst
	plug ins - darfur laughs at the other wars with a few
	more blood bath days they won't be able to reach our
	body count - no i haven't seen all the films, nobody
	can and i should hold my two cents until getting
	familiar with the portable door and especially no more
	bets which sounds not only excellent but timely -
	estelle talked, zofia prayed, i noticed the asian
	earthquake after the landslide but i was too self
	centered to investigate but of course i hope the
	land is settled. set tuesday still early as i try to
	conclude this paragraph note ego-porn i hear emilee
	claiming centered as part of her word stack and then
	lara calling for the finish line as i think two more
	days at hat cute our devotion blinking even in two
	degree weather...obviously if had directed wasikowska
	the ending song of club zero would have been that
	nickelback 'We'll all stay skinny, 'cause we just won't eat'
	rockstar tune but let us not speak of that or saltburn
	zero nominations! with the most haunting song ever!
jan 24
	a few days ago atop lemonde, vera molnar - today dw james ensor -
	or why it is once in a while difficult to take say the new york
	post seriously - no art is not news yet to put place it in
	headlines feels thrilling to me, beyond weather and politics -
	i stay up all night in between alexandra turning seventeen
	and myself actually starting to try out some of the new
	software - i set the alarm for eight thirty but nine, ten,
	eleven, twelve, one, and two breeze by before i start to
	hear andrew dice clay speaking, you see i have the rooster
	sound going off and if you math it against vinyl it makes 
	sense - frank buck rogers - it was easier dreaming tits
	walking down the street woman yesterday but it is today
	and the slumber is still with me - lara hands me a bourbon,
	a lady with spirit animal a horse perhaps a pony - i finally turn off
	the phone only to miss a call - call last night she said it
	is mercedes the bible tim three sixteen that being all
	scripture is inspired by deity yet i know, (because mailer
	explained it expertly in the castle in the forest where 
	agents ie demons fill up pages to fuel chaos), it is
	not so and i am about to rant against the new testament
	and tell her about the nag hammadi but as a scribe myself
	i write the shut up words within and hang up - i chase
	the missed call - coordinate maybe now maybe later -
	after a few minutes i figure it won't be now it will
	be domani - ferrari waiting to be watched - i would have
	already but fixing audiobook short story in cinema list
	took a while, say or see at sundance i simply wanted
	to seal the sensation - funny thing dar means home
	fur means of - the article i spied was related to 
	last year, but the darfur is yet a bloody mess -
	i suppose the press feels it is like trying to 
	give a speech about the nigersaurus to a crowd of
	non-palaeontologists...whadda ya mean the nigger 
	saw us? we were in robes and hoods, oh that's why
	fatso, clothes caint hide blubber - mercedes was
        moved to baking then fired or left nacional - 
	mercedes was/is doris' middle name - oh lord
	won't you buy me a mercedes benz - an hour drooling
	over eastwood guitars, balaguer guitars, and especially
	hapas guitars...if you gave up smoking you could get
	one, but i want two and then i wouldn't have cigarettes -
	how lonely do you think the ashtray would feel, huh -
	someone call the logic agency, eight oscar nominations
	is not a snub and y'all better hope i don't have to 
	explain to little gemma about gynocology over that
	ending any time soon. i guess none of the voters
	have daughters or gemmas that they love.

jan 26
	in the world where accusation is nearly equivalent to indictment i didn't
	want to write down the dream standing on the corner of a 110th street
	and amsterdam avenue, there is a crowd of people, unusual for the area,
	i have an urge to check my wallet in the dream it is in the front
	left pocket - locket surrounded by papers and crumpled dollars -
	three fall out i pick up two but someone else picks up the third,
	asking for it i get only silence, thief i say now passing bus station,
	zof was waiting for her bus, don't think it is jim's blue bus - i have 
	a sense of my self yet i do not even glance at the building where
	three k was - like i was on my way elsewhere - beyond colombus 
	avenue i get up with unusual feeling - in the world where echoes
	displace thought i didn't want to write down the fight dream - 
	stabbing at a foe i never actually think about except of course
	when the screaming gets in the air way - getting up at noon i find
	i missed the delivery once again, the news tells hillbilly died -
	said burt liked him cause he never asked for anything - i watch
	the man with power over women - grady is there lifting the whole
	movie into another class by the mere implication of that connection-
	directors, now i get it - maybe that was what was missing from 
	ferrari - if it wasn't that i was in the wrong mindset - i am positively
	in the wrong mindset next day - stomach turning - even the food i 
	am about to heat up and eat is like a radical vegan revolting
	against meat - i did not enjoy the meal - someone tells me one 
	of the maintenance men died - i say i never liked him, i recall
	it was how i learned the phrase bi-polar and how out of his mind
	he seemed when i took mother's attention into a movie - that's it
	a sensation of cannibalism, but without logic - later i dream
	sauntering through a path in a park - sort of like where onassis
	trampled through in the city except i am with mother and some
	man i do not know suddenly shopping it seems at some market -
	it's about as bad as the meal and i awake so disgusted that
	i clean up my room - a really defined weridness as i sat down
	sensing the clothes i had worn the last time i went out but
	worse the idea of my wallet as if spied by a haunting still
	keeping me not in - to conclude the weird day i get the wounded
	words of this or that concerning depardiue - there is one clip
	of him seemingly trying to fill up a hollow documentary with
	excitement of course it comes off strange and even i think oh 
	that is horrid but then realize he was only speaking and such
	sentences might have even been sarcastic...not that it matters,
	people will judge without a single fact and marry that judgement
	till death do they party - plug in party i kept wondering where
	the commentizing was on the browser so if it happens to you use
	the app instead tube - what is the point of keeping knowledge to
	myself - to think i missed out on "life" for failing to comment!
	middle of the night, strawberry ice cream i am thankful nothing
	makes me feel like i put a redhead in a blender and am now 
	ingesting her - perhaps they have finally figured out that i 
	am extremely allergic to being involved with folks i dislike. 
	at least, for a minute, there was model boss astrid voss...
jan 28 
	there's something magical about working with her pictures -
	the first one i did - something borderline feminist where
	she is pointing a firearm - also came out lovely - 
	i have to admit that in the mindset of a model agency,
	it is tempting to hire a man crossdressing as a women -
	for the irony and possible shock value - but how unfair
	in terms of girls that now have to compete not only
	with other girls but with men...equally in sports and
	et cetera areas, no? a fucking tootsie world emerged
	alongside swiftie deep fakes which might be real given
	that the one i saw looked and sounded eerily near to
	what you would imagine - i tried the meat again with the
	same rice and things went better but i am convinced the
	market amped up my pepsi with something that prevented
	it from freezing - i should have noticed it then when
	the seemingly re-tightened cap would not come off - 
	blew a hole in the hood of a yellow corvette - yeah
	i punctured the plastic and poured it into another
	perhaps diluting the weirdness so i didn't notice -
	in fairness as it is a coca cola world the bottles
	might have been sitting around too long in temperature
	flux aisle...lux dream lara and cat and i can't decide 
	which one to pay attention to - both so near as if
	they were studying me instead of me dreaming about them -
	tux dream masked ball the type i imagine in venezia -
	vision wanted to write a fashion week letter paris
	look here how easy would it be to drive up in a van
	and grab some folks for ransom...mother agencies
	willing to lose a few faces instead of sending in
	an armed security expert - what is your name - 
	whoever can step right up, what a set up! i'm sorry
	to report another scene raided by a couple of 
	nearby sounds i suppose - i see them out baffled
	by what in hat dream - wish to my soul that old lady
	would die - stop telling lies on me - oh babe it aint
	no pie - picture so bad i left the country and dreamt
	i was on the east side where prizes where being given out
	if you could guess the car i think, woody a traffic cop
	and me alongside a double parked sedan allen is upset 
	that he is not getting the prize -i get up feeling bad
	that i forgot his coup didnt get nods - then again 
	polanski's latest can't be found in the usual places -
	i get up exhausted - as if jet lagged - i want to
	call virginia to warn her of a feeling i have yet
	realize that the question should have been resolved
	by events earlier in our childhood 2012 - i love the
	nap we took - i love that i seen juliette with my 
	still immature wonder one of these i days i am going to 
	do it yes grow up like the rest of you and shut up -
        ps, half a dozen possible drum tracks done yay -
	and i have decided to cushion the door in the room
	for recording and also hush the glass to have it
	near enough soundproof - oh i see now the point of
	recording studios...of course you won't see the 
	ilbridge taking up every bit of your laptop when
	the vsts contradict but if you ever find yourself 
	wondering what the hell after closing image line
	fl studio you simply need to end that task by
	master or cmd - amen. can't wait for aquaman three
	and the dirty south sequel. ahem.
jan 28.5
	one dream drone is being contrasted to another - they both
	look like toy airplanes to me - story door i am responding
	two women i ask them to step back in order to see their
	attire, dresses, evening gowns to be exact - i am impressed
	one of them tells me her name is heidi but later i think
	i didnt hear her right, was it helga - the thought brings
	to mind movie house where i left a leather bag and raced
	back to luck finding it right where i had forgot it -
	summer dresses seemed to breathe right into me as i 
	strolled by stealing glances and a picture later 
	animated - i had some other scene to note, not that any
	of this is noteworthy, but it slipped my mind - wondering
	how i had missed melanie all the years until kids in the
	hall - baltimore down by ten at halftime, i am shocked
	they didn;t shut down those clowns in their raven palace,
	three american soldier kids gone in jordan - press says -
	pressure sugar running low - fendi is not pretty popular
	on tik or tok, swede girl drawing - no children are going
	to be conceived here - give us your huddled asses until
	the elections come. come on, maryland needs this!

jan 28.9
	throwing into triple coverage, sorry poe, but then
	a ray of hope lion only to have a third quarter
	meltdown...so you do have to lose your mind in detroit
	rock city...superbowl 2020 redux, it can't mean
	a replay in terms of post count storming the u s capitol...
	at least i learned they were the portsmouth spartans
	prior to 1934 and no need for further sports anytime soon.
jan 29 so i'm sitting around with the arrived sugar -
	i try out myself on mail order mystics and
	somehow enjoy the bebop more than the blues
	notes - the old amp feels stabilzized - i find this
	1992 record of the red devils with the knight
	on lead vocal, i only listen to the first track
	as it is awe inspiring - i have so much to do
	and yet the thought that a delivery is pending
	distracts me so i do nothing but wonder until
	wandering right into noon time sleep till six
	- dream escaping the inescapable past - like spain
	i am bound to the...fact burroughs got it exact
	with you can't fake quality anymore than you can 
	fake a good meal - i get up notified that alexandra
	tried to make a ginger bread house - the girl with
	her in blue spandex shorts is stronger than my
	coffee - who needs sports? moscow theater on fire -
	skater suspended for dope - rehab hospital nope -
	kate released - i feel qualified to criticize the
	nfl because 106th street stadium throw  i caught it and
	held on even as my right pinky broke on the pavement-
	pavlov shop pretty girl and i dream she dogs me for
	cigarette ashes - i wake up feeling a bit guilty 
	but given the nature of the sin i smoke without
	worrying about it too much -  
jan 30 - at kitchen counter, a woman - shania or prehaps chloe - she is telling me 
	    how much she wants to stop drinking - i say some trite words trying
	    to be supportive but it is the touch of my hand gently at her
	    shoulders that refelcts my honest desire to see her succeed -
	    myself - having no alcohol since elsa got pregnant circa
	    2020 or whenever easter was released - i cannot relate except
	    in terms of cigarettes - impressed by cubasis three mobile app,
	    but partly lamenting missing the joliette shooting news - however
	    i got lucky and met the luxury of the palace - polanski there
	    neither too romantic nor tragic proving he has nothing to prove
	    and yet so powerful - it's one of those films that you want to 
	    see again even before the credits fade out - magic, but we
	    are spoiled because he has performed that cinematic poetry
	    so aften people/critics take it for granted - emilee's
	    birthday february i can't help thinking of her...hope she is all
	    right. night dreams afternoon drifting into the void where
	    i feel the weight of waking and shakespeare and the
	    math of a coat plus a sewing machine - not sure what it
	    equals - recording room now set to press play - i think
	    i have decided to make the fridge room an empty room but
	    my choice is not yet set in stone or even rolling stones.
	    acdc asked what are their three top songs, i said impossible
	    to answer except if six were indeed nine - thrice times three
	    to make up mine. 
	
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